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Haters Gonna Hate

Haters Gonna Hate

Anne Hathaway is an actress who a lot of people hate for no reason. A while back there was an article out about this important topic. I realized I hated Anne Hathaway for no reason. I felt bad for hating Anne Hathaway even though I don't know her and, most likely, will never meet her. But hating someone for no reason is weird.

Les Miserables was a horrible movie that I didn't want to see in the first place. At the time, a friend of mine had a crush on Russell Crowe. We had an agreement that I would see Russell Crowe movies with her and she would see Johnny Depp movies with me. This was a stupid arrangement. At no time were we both having fun at the movies. There is nothing wrong with going to the movies by yourself, ladies.

The singing in this movie was so bad I wanted to stab myself in the eardrums with my car keys. The one bright spot was Anne Hathaway. Her singing was pitch perfect and emotional and all that good crap. Yet, I didn't want to admit she gave a solid performance because I hated her for no reason.

Hillary Clinton is also a person people dislike for no reason. People are constantly going on about how they can't stand her and don't trust her. Granted, I only care about my stupid opinions and no one else's, but three years ago I was desperate to know what Hillary and I were up against. So I asked people why they didn’t trust her. The answers they give were as reasonable as my dislike of Anne Hathaway. And it was weird.

Hillary Clinton is the Anne Hathaway of politics. She has the most solid performance record, but everyone believed she had some secret evil plan that would unfold once she was in the White House. If you asked what that secret evil plan was, no one could tell you. Actually, they shouldn't be able to tell you because it would be the worst secret evil plan of all time if everyone knew about it.

Due to the unreasonable hatred of Hillary Clinton, millions of Americans chose to treat Facebook posts as credible sources of information. And we have been forced to endure three years of a president who makes us long for the moral fortitude of Richard Nixon.

For this reason, I have decided to compare some of the worst atrocities committed by former presidents to Trump atrocities, or Trumpocities as I like to call them.

George Washington

"I cannot tell a lie" is a lie. The whole cherry tree story is completely made up. Some may claim this doesn't prove Washington was dishonest as this story was invented by a biographer after his death. I claim he couldn't have been that virtuous if the biographer couldn't dig up one factual example of his honesty.

Donald Trump is a president who doesn’t care about global warming and by extension, trees. In fact, he would chop down every tree in America if it didn’t require manual labor on his part.

Thomas Jefferson

Jefferson is guilty of the most outrageous case of nepotism ever. He freed all the slaves whom he fathered and no others. He didn't even free his baby mama.

Extensive DNA testing has confirmed Donald Trump has a secret family of slave children and he has no immediate plans to free them.

Andrew Jackson

His nickname was Indian Killer. He ordered the murders of Native American women and children because they had the audacity to be here first and didn't immediately relocate when Whitey came to town. Every time you pull out a twenty dollar bill you're looking at the portrait of a serial killer.

Donald Trump idolizes this genocidal psychopath. In a previous post I was able to link Trump to the deaths of Antonin Scalia, Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, Ritchie Valens, Elvis Presley, Princess Diana, Michael Jackson and Muhammed Ali.

Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln is perhaps the most important president in our nation's history. He was The Great White Hope for millions of Africa Americans. Most of us were taught to believe he ended slavery with the Emancipation Proclamation. He did free over three million slaves, but he left a half million screwed. The Emancipation Proclamation only applied to Confederate states. Five hundred thousand slaves in Union states were told to suck it. That's messed up.

Although slavery has been abolished in Union states, Donald Trump has plans to bring it back, beginning with his secret family of slave children.

Franklin Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt’s maiden name was Eleanor Roosevelt. Franklin and Eleanor were distant cousins. I don't care how distant. You should never marry someone with the same last name as you. This may not make FDR untrustworthy, but it makes him a creeper.

Donnie has stated he would leave Melania in a heartbeat if only his daughter would have him. His daughter, Ivanka, not Tiffany whom he barely acknowledges is a person

Dwight Eisenhower

Operation Wetback. This was actually a thing.

Babies in cages. This is actually thing.

John F Kennedy

He used and abused Marilyn Monroe then passed her on to his brother like a pair of hand-me-down sneakers. After Bobby had no more use for her, they had her murdered, which in turn sparked Joe DiMaggio to have JFK assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald. Meanwhile, Frank Sinatra went batcrap crazy because Kennedy unfriended him due to his mob connections. Unfriending someone was way worse back then because you had to do it in person as Facebook wouldn't be invented for another fifty years. Sinatra agreed to help DiMaggio by hiring Jack Ruby to kill Oswald as Oswald was a bit of a loose cannon. The rest is history.

We know Trump is responsible for the murders of Antonin Scalia, Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, Ritchie Valens, Elvis Presley, Princess Diana, Michael Jackson and Muhammed Ali because I wrote about it earlier in this post. We didn’t find out Kennedy killed Marilyn Monroe until years after his death.

Deep down, don't we prefer a president with the ability to discreetly orchestrate a murder?


Photo by Rhododendrites | CC-BY-SA-4.0

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