Hillary Clinton Exclusive Interview With Flake News: The Tragedy Of A Corrupt Woman In A Corrupt Man's World
Former Democratic Presidential Nominee Hillary Clinton and the interviewer spend several minutes sitting silently staring at one another. It's so silent you can hear a tiny mouse pooping in the other room.
"It's okay," says the Flake News reporter.
"It's what?", asks Hillary with a dumbfounded tone in her voice.
"It's.. It's okay. It's okay," says the interviewer.
"Stop it, don't do this to me. I just came here to bash Trump," says Mrs. Clinton. "I didn't expect tha- tha- thissssss."
"It's okay," says the reporter once more as Hillary begins breaking out in tears. "You tried. It's okay. It's okay."
Both the interviewer and Hillary hug one another as she sobs and stains his shirt with her tears.
"No, it's not okay!," booms Hillary as she forcefully pushes away the interviewer. "I was going to be president. The first woman president. The only crime I did was being a corrupt woman in a corrupt man's world. It's unfair! It was suppose to be about me! It was suppose to be my turn!"
"I know," says the interviewer. "And it's okay."
"And I lost because of that damn man Putin," says Hillary with tears running down her face. "It's all him, Trump, and Russia's fault."
"Not really, but it's okay," says the interviewer, placing a hand on Hilldog's shoulder. "It was probably a lot of reasons. In my opinion, besides the e-mails, it was most likely because plenty in this country have an unsavory attitude towards illegal immigration and political correctness. It also didn't help you demonizing tens of millions of people who had these concerns as deplorable racists. You basically went all in with giving a lot of people in the country the middle finger as a way to counteract Trump's political strategy."
"But Trump went all in with giving Mexican and other Latino migrants the middle finger with his ‘murderers and rapists’ speech and then wanted to ban Muslims. US Presidents that I know bomb them, not ban them," replies Hillary. "What was I suppose to do?"
"Agreed that he can be inappropriate with his speech, but it's a fact that the murder capital of the world does exist south of the border. Though many are escaping from this and it'd be wrong to cast the blame on everyone because of their nationality. This is also not even mentioning how illegal immigration is tied in with the corporate desire to maximize profits by promoting the unfettered flow of cheap labor and free movement which affects wages and jobs as a result of supply and demand, which I think also played a factor in why some people voted for Trump," says the interviewer. "And also, the European route with the mass migration of Islam to the West only promises conflict. The smart way, if we are to invite them in, is to bring them over a little at a time to help them assimilate and discourage self-segregation into semi-autonomous ghettos. Their conservative religious culture also doesn't believe in the separation of church and state as well as certain freedoms of speech like being able to disrespect God and his prophets. The answer would be to fully subvert them a little at a time to the values of our secular society or else they'll feel attacked in large numbers and may strike out violently for simply living with all these offensive sinners and their blasphemous ways. And the best way to help them assimilate to the West is a little at a time, not mass numbers, that's just stupid and asking for trouble."
Hillary lets out a hoarse laugh with cheeks still moist from crying minutes earlier.
"You know I said something similar last year about Europe curbing their mass Muslim migration," said the former Democratic nominee for president. "Trouble to me is right-wing populism and I can see what's driving it, I'm not stupid either."
"Remember," said the interviewer. "It's okay."
"Oh, shut up," says Hillary before letting out another cackle. "Good talk, though."
Photo by Lashaull | CC-BY-SA-4.0