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The Writing On The Wall

The Writing On The Wall

Corporations try everything short of raising employee salaries to raise employee morale. Perhaps the executives at your company bought a Foosball table and expected the employees to be all like, “Wow. This is the coolest place to work in the whole world. Thank you, Mr. Boss Man.” Instead they were met by the cold dispassionate stares of employees who haven't received raises in seven years. And yet, they were still convinced the Foosball Employee Compensation Plan of 2014 was a good idea. They just needed a way to force employees to play Foosball. Then surely they would realize they work at a super cool company. And thus, the Mandatory Employee Foosball Tournament of 2014 was born. However, employees were reluctant to take time out of their work day to play Foosball. As this would cause them to have to stay late to complete the work that didn't get done while they were playing Foosball. And they don't get overtime. And furthermore, you can call it mandatory all you want, but we both know you can't fire me for not playing Foosball. And by the way, I know you've been getting bonuses while telling the rest of us the company is on a wage freeze.

If I'm that upset off over Foosball, imagine the rage government workers must be feeling. Trump shut the government down because he's demanding five billion dollars to build a wall on the southern border. Simultaneously, he's claiming most of the wall has already been built, Mexico is paying for it and it will be a wall of see-through steel. You may be saying, “But, Jennifer, see-through steel doesn't exist.” To that I say, “Shut up, I'm talking.”

See-through steel doesn't exist. Trump has said he's willing to keep the government shutdown for years if he doesn't get five billion dollars to build a wall of see-through steel. Also, he believes he can declare a state of emergency to secure the five billion dollars. Families all across the United States can't afford to pay their bills due to emergency racism.

Federal employees whose jobs are considered essential are forced to work despite not being paid. This is where employee morale really comes in to play. TSA agents are calling in sick, causing longer lines at airports and missed flights and so on. Who can blame them? I still experience bouts of rage over the Foosball Employee Compensation Plan of 2014. If I were a TSA agent I'd wave someone by with a bag of crystal meth and a loaded gun and tell them to have a nice flight.

 
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