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What White Nonsense Is This?

What White Nonsense Is This?

In my last post, I had a score to settle with Bill O’Reilly and his loyal band of cracker devotees. My Twitter account had been temporarily suspended for calling Bill O’Reilly a cracker. While I do find it hysterical that my account was suspended because I, a middle-aged white lady from West Virginia, used a derogatory term for white people, I’ve been unable to the sooth the animosity I feel toward the cracker, Bill O’Reilly. Therefore, I’ve decided to take another crack at him.

O’Reilly is promoting his latest poorly written book, which his loyal band of cracker devotees will buy, but never read. Let us start by examining a recent tweet by this racist sex offender:

“While researching my upcoming book “The United States of Trump,” we could not find one example of the President discussing skin color in a pejorative way or promoting Caucasian dominance.”

He quite clearly did zero research for this book. Trump announced his candidacy by referring to Mexicans as rapists. Which is rather hilarious considering both Trump and O’Reilly should be busy informing their neighbors that they live next door to sex offenders.

Now let us take a look at some of the greatest cracker moments in Bill O’Reilly history.

Bill O’Reilly on Trayvon Martin: “The reason Trayvon Martin died is because he looked a certain way. It wasn’t based on skin color, if Trayvon Martin had been wearing a jacket…and a tie…I don’t think George Zimmerman would have had any problem with him. And that way is how “gangstas” look and therefore he got attention.”

Please excuse me while I write an open letter to Bill O’Reilly.

Dear Cracker,

I don’t know a single teenage boy of any race who would be wearing a jacket and tie while hanging out in his own backyard. You can’t shoot someone for wearing a hoodie. That is not justifiable homicide.

You also can’t shoot someone for looking “gangsta.” Imagine if we started shooting people who look “rapey.” You are a known sex offender so you’ve got that rapey look about you. You might want to think that through before you advocate shooting people based on their looks.

Also, don’t say “gangstas” because it makes you sound like a cracker.

Warm Wishes,

Jennifer Loy

Bill O’Reilly on Rape Victims: In 2006, O’Reilly referred to an 18-year-old rape and murder victim, as “moronic” for getting her car getting towed in New York City while she was drunk. He said, “She was 5-foot-2, 105 pounds, wearing a miniskirt and a halter top with a bare midriff. Now, again, there you go. So every predator in the world is gonna pick that up at two in the morning.”

Please excuse me while I write an open letter to Bill O’Reilly.

Dear Cracker,

Where were you at two in the morning on the night in question?

I find your detailed description of the victim combined with your bizarre need to defend the rapist quite suspect. And, of course, the peculiar way you defended the murderer of Trayvon Martin isn’t helping your case. And also, as I’ve previously established, you are a rapey sex offender. You better have a solid alibi because I intend to troll you on Twitter until you confess, you cracker.

Good Luck,

Jennifer Loy

Bill O’Reilly on Bill O’Reilly, Sex Offender: “You know, am I mad at God? Yeah, I’m mad at him. I wish I had more protection. I wish this stuff didn’t happen. I can’t explain it to you. Yeah, I’m mad at him.”

Please excuse me while I write an open letter to Bill O’Reilly.

Dear Cracker,

I’m not a religious person, but I was quite perplexed as to why you expected some mystical supreme being to protect you from the consequences of your own actions. Therefore, I decided to ask God what would lead a rapey cracker to believe he was entitled to special godly protection.

Much to my surprise, a voice in my head replied to my query. I don’t know if the voice was God or my own imagination, but let’s just say it was God.

First of all, you should know God is a woman. I know this for a fact because her voice sounds exactly like mine. And she was kind of irritated that you kept referring to her as a him. She’s all like, “I know Bill is a white man in America, but not all powerful beings are white men. And he needs to know that.”

And then God said unto me, “Jen, you and I both know Bill O’Reilly is kind of a rapey prick and a total cracker. You were right to call him that and I’m more powerful than Twitter, so you’re good. My job as God is to protect the victims of Bill O’Reilly, not the sex offender, Bill O’Reilly. Bill was a rapey prick to a considerable amount of women and he comes crying to me because he lost his job. I’m all like, dude did a lot of nasty things and he still gets to be a rich white man in America. He needs to stop whining like a little wuss or I shall hail my wrath upon or something all vengeful and God-like. And he needs to know that.”

Then I thanked God for taking the time to answer my question because I know she’s really busy with all your victims. But now you know why God didn’t protect you. I hope this clears things up for you, you cracker.

Kind Regards,

Jennifer Loy

 

Photo by Ninian Reid | CC-BY-2.0

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