President Trump Literally Signed Over All US Assets To Israel
To absolutely no one's surprise, US President Donald J. Trump announced that he had signed away any and all US assets to the State of Israel. The executive order will be implemented effective immediately.
"The liberals thought I was in the pocket of Putin," said Trump in a tweet Monday morning. "But we all know who's really in charge here."
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said that he's "glad that [Trump] finally came to the light and realized $4.5 trillion in foreign aid just isn't enough. We want it all, boychik."
Democratic Senator of New York Chuck Schumer was very critical of Trump's move, saying "that he's truly made an anti-Semitic conspiracy theory come to life in a way I had never imagined possible."
Trump responded to Schumer, saying that "My move wasn't anti-Semitic at all, that's really dumb. How is making the Jewish State of Israel more powerful bigoted and anti-Semitic now? What world is he living in?"
Multiple Democrats believe that Trump had "went way too far in trying to prove he's not Hitler in order to own the libs," according to multiple anonymous sources.
"Giving away everything to Israel doesn't excuse the fact that we have concentration camps at our southern border," said Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar. "If anything he's proved to be even more like Hitler than originally thought. He just gave away all US assets to a far-right dictator."
As a result of this deal, Israel will acquire all arms of the US military along with roughly $269.6 trillion.