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Amazon Has Its Own T-1000 And It's Searching For Andrew Yang

Amazon Has Its Own T-1000 And It's Searching For Andrew Yang

Democratic presidential hopeful Andrew Yang may be in danger following reports of the T-1000 searching the country and interviewing people about Yang and then terminating them. The T-1000 is reportedly a liquid-metal cybernetic-organism and is said to have been developed by Amazon owner Jeff Bezos in the future and sent back in time to stop the rise of the first Asian-American man running for US president. Yang hopes to defeat Donald Trump in 2020 with an overall agenda that is said to protect humanity from the machines.

"I'm well aware the dangers of automation," said Yang speaking to Flake News in an undisclosed location. "The reason why Donald Trump won is because 4 million jobs were automated in key swing states and millions more will be automated in the future, including big rig truckers and that alone is about 3.5 millions jobs going to robots."

Yang told Flake News that he received a "weird" phone call that sounded like his mother. That's when he knew something was up.

"I knew the T-1000 was after me once I got a call from my mom and it was so weird," said Yang. "She wanted to see me right away. She didn't sound like herself and got the name of our family dog wrong."

The businessman-turned-politician decided to check up on his mother anyway and she was thankfully alright. But the T-1000 showed up almost immediately and they had to escape on Yang's dirt bike.

"I knew Bezos would come after me somehow because I called out Amazon for paying zero federal taxes last year," said Yang. "And considering his company has been automating many jobs away as well, it probably doesn't make him feel happy that I'm talking about the dangers of automating away millions of America's jobs. But with the Freedom Dividend, I'll soften this blow by giving every American, 18 years and older, a $1000 a month, no strings attached."

Numerous people were said to have been killed as a result of Amazon's T-1000. As of this writing, that cybernetic-organism is said to have taken on the form of a white male Los Angeles police officer. It was reportedly invented by Jeff Bezos in the year 2030. According to a report from McKinsey Global Institute, by 2030, an estimated 73 million American human jobs could be automated.

 

Photo by Sergey Galyonkin from Kyiv, Ukraine | CC-BY-SA-2.0

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