Top 5 Hottest Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Summer Fantasies
Older, white, crusty conservative men have found a chew toy recently, and it goes by the name of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She is the newly-elected, illustrious, vibrant, vivacious 29-year-old self-proclaimed socialist US Representative from Brooklyn. She is the youngest woman ever to be elected to the United States Congress. In addition to all that, she is attractive.
Because of this, older white Republican men have fixated on her. We know they can’t stop talking about her. Now, after extensive interviews, Flake News has learned they can’t stop thinking about her either.
Listed below are the top five summer fantasies about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez that have conservative men all hot and bothered:
1. AOC apologizing to Sean Hannity live on Fox News for her “silly” and “erratic” behavior. She blames her “mistakes” on the fact that she is a woman. She apologizes so much that she starts physically flogging herself. Then she listens to everything Hannity has to say, and nods her head in agreement.
2. She is in the Star Wars scene with Jabba the Hut, but instead of Jabba The Hut, it’s Donald Trump. He has her on a short chain, but instead of the slave Leia bikini she is wearing a bright red business suit, and answering questions from the press for Donald Trump. Any time she says something he doesn’t like, Tump yanks the chain.
3. Dressed as the main character from the movie “300,” she kicks Nancy Pelosi down a well, then falls in herself.
4. She is on a hunting trip, waiting back at base camp, cleaning rifles and cooking whatever the men shoot. At the end of the night, the first thing anybody mentions about politics, she gets up and busses the dishes and quietly washes them while the conversation reaches a natural end.
5. She is forced to resign from office but gets a job as a bartender at the Republican National Committee headquarters...and tips aren’t that good.
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