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The Pointed Pen: We Like Things Big

The Pointed Pen: We Like Things Big

Here in The PRM (People's Republic of Massachusetts) I've been more then a little annoyed at the growing popularity of tiny houses. If you take time to put the problems caused by tiny houses under a microscope, they look a lot larger. The truth is that tiny houses are a big problem. Let's face it, little things are un-American. We like things big. Big egos on big TV's (you knew I'd get the presidential candidates in here some how) big cars on big highways. Don't forget big houses with big mortgages, on even bigger housing lots. America didn't get where it is today by thinking small.

Who knows where this tiny trend could end? Will the tiny economy be the next big thing? Might mini-mansions become a major market in Massachusetts? I don't think so. Our economy depends, in no small way, on big business. Tiny houses with tiny mortgages, tiny cars with tiny auto loans and tiny credit card balances would mean tiny profits for the big banks. I guess however, from the corporate point of view, tiny salaries wouldn't be too bad. But only for the workers, not for the top executives of course. They'd get tiny taxes.

If these so-called people get to build their tiny houses that could make the rest of us feel small. They think they're so big just because their house is tiny. Well take it from me, size isn't everything. Remember, once you "go tiny" you might not have enough room to change your mind.

The truth is that their houses are so tiny that the mice are hunchbacked. The truth is that their houses are SO tiny that as I stepped in the front door I fell out the back window. Their houses are SOO tiny that to fit the key in the lock, everyone has to move out. Their houses are SOOO tiny that I would need 5 of them just to fit half my stuff and that's the truth. But I digress.

People with tiny houses should go back where they came from, or should be forcibly self-deported to tiny countries with big names like Luxembourg or Liechtenstein where they can feel at home.

 
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