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Days Of Our Lies

Days Of Our Lies

We now join the continuing story of Satan's Spawn, Donald J. Trump.

By the time this is published, Donnie will have launched his re-election campaign with the slogan, Promises Made – Promises Kept. Not surprisingly, his campaign slogan is a lie. Chris Hardball held a town hall in Dayton, OH the other night. He asked the people in the room if any believe Trump doesn’t lie. The room went silent. Considering many of the people participating in the town hall voted for Trump and intend to vote for him again, that’s just messed up.

While I’m annoyed that Trump’s a liar, it bothers me more that he’s so bad at it. Even people stupid enough to vote for him are smart enough not to believe him.

With the 2020 campaign underway, I’d like to take a look back at the day that was supposed to end Trump’s 2016 bid for the presidency, but didn't despite his poor aptitude for telling convincing lies.

Friday, October 7, 2016

To quote Hillary Clinton, "Woo! Okay." With the realization that Hillary Clinton was cleaning his clock in the polls, Trump claimed illegal immigrants were coming into the country for the sole purpose of voting. Nothing says confidence like claiming the election is rigged before the votes are even counted and, of course, blaming Mexico.

Then Donnie decided he hadn't said enough racist crap for one day. In a moment that would make any Klansman proud, he insisted the Central Park Five are guilty. It matters not to Donnie that DNA evidence exonerated these five men. Nor does it matter to Donnie that the actual attacker has been caught. It doesn't matter to Donnie that the actual attacker murdered other people while these five innocent men were in prison. It doesn't matter to Donnie that these five innocent men were children ranging in ages from 14 to 16 when they were arrested. Donnie insisted on the death penalty for these five children. According to Donnie, they committed the crime of being brown when a white lady was attacked. He cares so much about women and victims of sexual assault.

This brings us to the set of Days Of Our Lives in the year 2005. Donald Trump was scheduled to do a cameo on the soap. Access Hollywood came along to film some backstage crap because synergy. Days Of Our Lives, The Apprentice and Access Hollywood are all NBC shows. The Washington Post uncovered footage of Trump saying extremely gross things about women to Billy Bush. Trump believes he is allowed to grab women in their "wherevers" whenever he wants because he's a star. According to a little something called the law, that is the exact definition of sexual assault.

In an unprecedented move by Trump, he didn't lie and he apologized. Sort of. His definition of an apology goes like this:

"I'm not perfect. So, sorry or whatever. Bill Clinton is way worse than me. Make America great again. Vote for Trump."

Personally, I would rather hear his outrageous nonsense over an insincere apology. Dude was on the set of Days Of Our Lives. He should have been ripe with excuses Deplorable Basket People would swallow without question. I mean, evil twin is an obvious choice right there. Amnesia is always a good fall back explanation. He hit his head on the bus causing him to talk crazy and he has no memory of the event.

Satanic possession is one of my favorites. Satan got a lot of buzz through this election season. John Boehner called Ted Cruz "Lucifer in the flesh." Dr. Ben Carson tried to tie Hillary Clinton to Lucifer because she read a book forty years ago. On this very website, I asserted Donald Trump is the spawn of Satan. Satanic possession is a gold mine on Days Of Our Lives. Marlena become possessed in the Christmas of 1994. This caused the Christmas of 1994 to last until New Year's Day 1997, when Marlena's husband, John Black, suddenly remembered he'd been a priest before he lost his memory in 1986. John Black performed a successful exorcism, then remembered he'd been a secret agent before he was a priest.

And when all else fails – Stefano. Stefano is an evil genius who is always dead, but never dies. Stefano is capable of all kinds of nefarious deeds that deny science and logic. That is right up Trump's alley. Stefano implanted a brain chip in Trump. Stefano does amazing work in the reprogramming of brains. He's responsible for John Black's memory loss. Stefano's underground doctors performed plastic surgery on some poor homeless man to create an exact Trump duplicate. Perhaps Dr. Ben Carson is one of Stefano's underground doctors. That would explain the good doctor's belief that there are two Donald Trumps.

Republican leaders who endorsed Trump started jumping ship and unfriending him on Facebook, like this was the first abhorrent thing Trump ever said. And when they realized Trump wasn’t losing any supporters, they re-endorsed him like the spineless sycophants they are. Alas, it doesn’t matter. The stank of Trump can't be washed off. It will cling to them for all the days of their lives. Like sands through the hourglass, the days of the gutless are numbered.

 

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