Trump Furious As Comedy Satire Book ‘Letters from Llanaber’ Released In Print Version: ‘It Makes Me Look Dumb And Has Too Many Long Words!’
Leader of the free world and notorious porn star hush money payer president Donald Trump let fly a stream of angry expletives about the publication of the print version of the comedy satire book, ‘Letters from Llanaber.’
The incident occurred during a routine press conference ‘questions and answers’ session with the president at The White House yesterday. All was going well and the assembled reporters were all chanting ‘lock her up, lock her up’ as the president held up a poster of Hilary Clinton. Suddenly a shouted question was heard above the chant.
“How do you feel about the comedy satire book ‘Letters from Llanaber’ being published in a print version this month, Mr. President?”
The room immediately fell silent. All eyes turned to the source of the question, the young cub reporter from the UK comic The Beano. The young lad turned puce with embarrassment but held his head high, notebook and stubby pencil ready to jot down the president’s response.
But it wasn’t just the press puppy’s face that had coloured up. The president’s face slowly turned crimson as his temper rose and his blood began to boil. Moments later the cheese ball headed anorexia denier and self declared fanny magnet and Braniac erupted, hurling a string of abuse at the lad, the author of the book, David Smith, its publisher, Torn Wires, and the world in general.
“That book is a f*ing disgrace!” bellowed the dyspeptic comb-over king, “It tries to make fun of all my f* ups by pretending they have a direct effect on that craphole village in West Wales (Llanaber). Let me tell all you f*ers right here and now, my f ups are no laughing matter!... Not that I’ve ever made any, and if I have made the odd one or two, like for instance starting a trade war with China that f*s the world’s economy, or ripping those f*ing undocumented illegal alien kids from their drug running rapist murdering parents, then selling them off on eBay, or toadying up to two of the worst f*ing bad guys on the planet, cruel dictator, fat boy Kim Jong Un, and his new best buddy Klepto-f*ing sticky-fingers-crat Putin, or plundering the dumb f*ing taxpayers’ money to pay myself massive expenses for me and my butt-lizards to stay in my own properties, or screwing over all those poor schlubs who had legitimate agreements with the US by unilaterally withdrawing from them, dumping weapons grade crap all over them, then I can PARDON MYSELF. Go ask my number one ass-monkey Giuliani! I’m the f*ing president, for f*’s sake! Numero f*ing uno!”
With that the president stormed off the podium, pausing only to slap spokesperson and funbag Sarah ‘Huckleberry Hound’ Sanders lightly on the butt cheeks in an effort to maintain his image as a sexual harasser in the workplace.
Ms. Sanders then took questions from the floor.
“Have you read this book?” asked the journalist from the New York gardening magazine, Thyme.
“Yes, and I agree with the president. It’s a disgrace. I literally pissed myself laughing while I was reading it, and that’s not nice.”
“So, you think it’s funny,” asked a journo from the building magazine, BRICKS ‘R’US.
“Only in as much as it made me laugh a lot,” was her strange reply.
“Is it a book you would even wish your wife or your servants to read?” asked the reporter from Chatterley Anachronisms Weekly.
“I’m not gay and my Bryan seldom reads,” answered Ms. Funbags, ending the Q & A session. She left the podium rubbing the large bruise that was forming on her hiney.
Trump is not alone in his criticism of the ‘Letters from Llanaber’ satirical articles collection. Others have commented thus:
“It makes the president look dumb” – Hilary Clinton
“It makes old comb-over cretin look dumb” – Robert DeNiro
“It makes that f*ing fat man-lizard look dumb” – Pope Francis
“I found it funny but I wouldn’t like my wife or my servants to read it” – Judy Dench
“David Smith is a cad, a bounder and an absolute blackguard! I’d have the man horse-whipped to within an inch of his life for making the president of these glorious United States look like a dumb-ass and a complete halfwit!” – David Smith
The book, Letters from Llanaber, by David Smith is a collection of the first 50 comedy satire articles about life in a remote village in West Wales. It uses the characters in the village and its surrounding area as a microcosm of what happens in America under Trump. The book is now available from all good bookstores.
Photo by Palácio do Planalto from Brasilia, Brasil | CC-BY-2.0