UNBIASED POLITICAL SATIRE & HUMOR FOR SNOWFLAKES LIKE YOU.

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The Pointed Pen: Wing And A Prayer

The Pointed Pen: Wing And A Prayer

It's time to give the airplane industry its props. Unlike most people these days, I'm still a big supporter of the Boeing 737-M, the most profitable plane ever produced. There is still no 100% definitive scientific proof linking “impact with terrain” and the recent redesign of the engines or the upgrade of the autopilot. We need a lot more studies to determine if there really is a link between these so-called "air disasters" and shoddy workmanship. Crashes are simply a naturally occurring phenomenon because we can’t repeal the law of gravity. The truth is the "crashes" are fake news and shows that the depth of depravity of the deep state has hit new heights.

People who believe in airplane inspections have their heads in the clouds. We already waste millions inspecting planes and, like our politics, they're crashing left and right. Why mandate more inspections if we’re not inspecting the planes we already have?

I don't trust the FAA. Boeing alone can fix it. Worries about safety made Boeing's stock price stall and take a nosedive. That's two crashes for the price of one. Such a deal! What we don't need are more profit killing regulations; the airlines are barely making billions as it is.

We just can’t afford to eliminate airplane crashes in the middle of a trade war. Think of all the NTSB investigators who will lose their jobs! The problem is probably pilot error and perhaps people should be piloting their own planes. That’s personal responsibility. What about a market-biased solution to the crashing crisis? The government could give out vouchers so people can buy their own parachutes.

To me safety is overrated. I’d much rather take off on time then wait for some so-called mechanic to ”fix” something I couldn't even tell was broken. Instead of relying on so-called "elitist experts" with their fact-bias agendas, we need to rely moron (sic) our own beliefs and gut instincts. But I digress.

The truth is that most of the people who died in these crashes came from S-hole countries anyway so who cares? I know that when I fly I won't die because before takeoff I say a little prayer for myself. If they were smart, the rest of the passengers would be praying too. If a plane does crash, passengers are compensated with a free ticket to heaven. What more do they want? More regulation is no way to get the airlines to fly right.

 
Hunchback Of Notre Dame: My Bad, I Left The Toaster On

Hunchback Of Notre Dame: My Bad, I Left The Toaster On

You're A Wonder, Wonder Woman

You're A Wonder, Wonder Woman