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Republican Comedy Festival Canceled Due to Lack of Talent

Republican Comedy Festival Canceled Due to Lack of Talent

As the warmer weather sets in, one thing is clear: Festival Season is upon us. Americans travel all across the country for various fantastic festivals and gatherings, whether it be a music fest in Chicago or a comedy celebration in San Francisco.

One festival will not be happening this year: ConCom, for conservative comedy. It was canceled because they couldn’t find enough performers.

It seems like every year a batch of new festivals arrives in this extremely lucrative business. ConCom was hoping to jump on the trend. By being the first Republican comedy festival, acting to counteract how 99% of comedy on TV is usually performed by liberal comedians. The problem is they couldn’t find enough talent as there are only a handful of conservative comedians.

ConCom started out strong, by first signing A-list talent like Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy. Then they had nowhere else to look. Rosanne is still too dangerous for them to even to consider. Tim Allen, too expensive. Ben Stein was considered but organizers thought guests would fall asleep. Apparently it’s really hard to find people who are funny and possess a backward-thinking ideology. So making the festival 3 days seemed unlikely as Trump being re-elected.

The costs of the festival skyrocketed like the deficit under Paul Ryan. Organizers didn't think all of the special items to cater to "the Right" would be this costly. They include female and male port-o-potty’s so there would be no gender-neutral option. To cater to libertarians, organizers had to minimize profits to include the tax in the ticket price, so the buyers didn’t realize they paid sales tax. Plus they had to hire additional security to qualify as an open carry comedy festival.

All in all, the idea of a niche comedy festival seemed too crazy. Especially, when your average Republican is 65 years old. Not a lot of these attendees would have an AARP card. The Fyre Festival guy gets out of jail in a few years, so ConCom could presumably get an ex-con to run the reboot. They have no problem with a future convict running the country.

 

Photo by Mark Ridley  |  CC-BY-SA-4.0

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