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Conspiracy To Commit Conspiracy

Conspiracy To Commit Conspiracy

Because I don’t get my news from random YouTube clips, I’d never heard of Alex Jones before Trump became a presidential candidate. Alex Jones is one of Trump’s favorite news sources, almost tying with Fox News and Scott Baio tweets. If you're one of those stupid smart people who get your news from the Washington Post or NPR, I’ll explain Alex Jones for you.

Alex Jones is a fat pompous twit with a voice eerily similar to Rush Limbaugh. He has a web series called InfoWars. He spouts ridiculous conspiracy theories, yet considers himself a respected journalist because he gets his information from credible sources. Sources like a YouTube user named SparklyGirl89 who is convinced Al Gore is responsible for September 11th because he never got over the hanging chads. And no one knows where Al Gore was on September 11th.

Alex Jones has recently been sued by parents of children killed in the Sandy Hook school shooting. He has been claiming Sandy Hook was staged, no children were killed and the parents were crisis actors. It was all part of Obama’s plan to repeal the Second Amendment and take guns away from responsible gun owners. The parents, who have already suffered the trauma of having their five-year-olds murdered in cold blood, have been harassed by the deranged viewers of InfoWars. They have even received death threats from some of the more fervent gun enthusiasts who fail to see how murder is a pretty good reason to take their guns from them.

The full deposition of Alex Jones in this lawsuit is available online. Though I’m not interested in anything this second rate Rush Limbaugh has to say, I found myself intrigued as to how he would defend himself under oath. I only intended to check out a few minutes, but found myself spellbound and before I knew I had sat through all three hours. I shall paraphrase a snippet of the testimony for your reading pleasure.

Alex Jones: This all started when Hillary Clinton lost the election. She talked about me on the campaign trail and the liberals directed the Sandy Hook people to sue me. My tagline is “You are the resistance.” The liberals stole that from me. Then Pepe The Frog became a symbol of the alt right. I had nothing to do with that, but that’s how the media spun it. They show short clips from my show and say, “Alex Jones said Sandy Hook was staged.” The Las Vegas shooting was done by covert operators in the Saudi Arabian civil war. I have a CIA informant who showed me everything, so that’s been confirmed. The guy who did the shooting was a patsy and that’s all come out. CNN faked their coverage of the first Gulf War using a blue screen. Their reporters were never there and they’ve admitted that. Okay, PizzaGate, that was the media spinning my words again. I didn’t name the pizza parlor where Killary was conducting the child sex trafficking. Everyone knows when you hear cheese pizza, it’s code for child molesters.

Attorney: Mr. Jones, the question was who owns InfoWars, LLC?

Alex Jones: I don’t know.

His testimony left me with more questions than answers. Like this whole cheese pizza thing. Is it a plain cheese pizza that means you’re a child molester? Because I really enjoy a four cheese pizza. Are multiple cheeses innocent or does it stand for something far more sinister?

Toward the end of his testimony, Alex Jones said he now believes the Sandy Hook shooting happened. He developed a sort of psychosis brought on by all the lies perpetrated by the government and the media. He was so traumatized by all the lying he came to believe that every big news event was staged.

It takes a special kind of sociopath to claim he was traumatized by nothing while staring into the faces of parents whose babies who were brutally murdered.

 

Photo by Michael Zimmermann | CC-BY-SA-4.0

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