Forty People Electrocuted After Mike Pence Goes Swimming In San Francisco Pool
A total of 40 people were rushed to the hospital following an electrocution incident involving US Vice President Mike Pence at a public pool in San Francisco, California, on Tuesday. According to multiple eyewitness accounts, right when Pence jumped into the pool numerous swimmers were jolted by a current of electricity. Amazingly, no one died from the incident. However, multiple people were rushed to the hospital to receive treatment for their wounds. Miraculously, Pence was not injured at all during the incident.
"Right when that dude, Mike Pence, came diving into the pool with his Speedo, the whole pool lit up with electricity," said a person who was present at the pool during the incident, who chooses to remain anonymous. "Everyone was shocked, not just to see the vice president at the local pool, but literally electrified when he jumped into the water."
Medical professionals at the San Francisco Hospital are "stunned" by the vice president's "otherworldly electric abilities that defies modern science." Several doctors and nurses were reportedly electrocuted while medically examining Pence following the incident at the pool.
"I have never seen a patient like this in my life," said one doctor who chooses to remain anonymous. "Mike Pence is a medical anomaly that I don't quite understand, but he is dangerous and has hospitalized nearly everyone at the San Francisco pool and almost killed a few doctors and nurses with powerful electric jolts."
Incidentally, multiple patients reported a loss of homosexuality following the incident at the pool. However, these symptoms were soon reversed following exposure to the city's tap water which contains high levels of atrazine that can reportedly "turn the frickin' frogs gay," according to independent journalist Alex Jones.
Pence told reporters that he "plans on swimming in public pools all across America with a goal of spreading Christian values one city at a time in [his] Speedo."