Logan Paul Rushes Canadian-American Border, Claims Asylum From Twitter Outrage Mobs
Social media celebrity Logan Paul rushed the Canadian-American border on Wednesday to claim asylum from Twitter outrage mobs. Paul said that he has been constantly harassed and shamed online to a point where he needs to seek refuge in Canada. This comes shortly after Paul announced that he planned on spending a month as a black transgender Muslim woman with autism.
"People are definitely out to get me," said Paul. "They freaked out when I encountered a dead body hanging from a tree in Japan. They hated on me when I said that I planned to spend a month as a gay person during "Men's Only March." And then once I said that I planned to spend another month as a black transgender Muslim woman with autism, the hashtag #CrucifyLoganPaul started trending worldwide. I need to find a place that's safe, that's why I'm seeking asylum in Canada where everyone's polite."
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau joked in a press conference that he may need to build a border wall to keep out Logan Paul.
"Canada definitely doesn't need any internet trolls from America disturbing the peace and tranquility of this great nation," said Trudeau. "Maybe we should take a page out of Trump's book and wall him out. Of course I am kidding. Though this asylum request does sound a bit ridiculous. It's not like there's no Twitter in Canada. And we already have enough white people here."
The internet celebrity has been denied access into Canada while they process his asylum claims, which may take 180 days to go through. Meanwhile, the crusade against Logan Paul continues on Twitter. One outraged person wrote that, "You can't escape the hate @loganpaul. Give yourself up so we can do to you what needs to be done. #CrucifyLoganPaul."
"Logan Paul is literally the devil. He's worse than Hitler," said another pissed person on Twitter. "He hasn't changed at all from last year. Still a scumbag. We should just nail him to the cross and get it over with. #CrucifyLoganPaul."
Paul claims to be "in a constant panic" from all the cyber-bullying he's been receiving "from angered celebrities and cyber-outrage mobs."
Former Breaking Bad star Aaron Paul tweeted that he's "ashamed to have the same last name with that garbage [Logan]. You're a disgrace to all the Pauls out there. Go rot in hell, trash-bag."
The controversial social media personality responded to all the hate by sending out a YouTube video, saying that, "I thought I could change. But there is no changing Logan Paul. I'm a free spirit who's wild and zany. And well, since the proper behavior in America these days is to be offended by everything and bully those who upset you, I'm going to Canada. Peace oot."
Photo by Luigi Novi | CC-BY-3.0 Unported