World-Class Hypocrite Mick Mulvaney Rushed to ER
Flake News has just learned that former head of the Office of Management and Budget and now, acting White House Chief of Staff, Mick Mulvaney, was rushed to MedStar Georgetown University Hospital to have his head surgically removed from POTUS’ posterior.
The Orange Troll, according to an unnamed hospital intern was “uncharacteristically quiet” during the procedure. “I think he was too busy tweeting on his phone to care about what was going on,” said the source, adding, “He even told the doctors and nurses to hurry the hell up. Who acts like that when someone’s head is stuck up your butt?”
Having never seen anything to rival this type of medical emergency, hospital staffers were understandably shocked and disturbed when Mulvaney and POTUS were rolled into the ER. The sight was so horrific, in fact, that one of the attending doctors vomited into a planter holding a fake Ficus tree.
“They were both on the same gurney,” said the intern. “It took four of us to wheel them in. That’s how heavy they were.” He added, “Geez. Trump has really porked out, ya know? His belly was hanging over the side of the gurney and Mulvaney was only visible from the neck down. Man, I hope I never see anything like that, again.”
We never want to see anything like that ever but, with Mulvaney poised to go down in history as one of this administration’s most accomplished butt-kissers, we’re ready for almost anything.
Mulvaney, who in 2016 said this about the Orange Troll: “Trump should be disqualified,” referring to him as a “horrible human being,” has apparently done an about face and is now, just another hypocritical POTUS supporter.
We are left with the notion that POTUS isn’t quite “horrible” enough for Mulvaney to turn down the Chief of Staff gig. That said – tomorrow is another day.
Finally, the hospital staffers who were on site when Mulvaney/POTUS was brought in, have been offered “counseling,” if they want it. As of this writing, they’ve all responded “Hell, yeah.”
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