15,000 Elves Laid Off From Santa’s Toy Factory
It appears that the Trump Tariffs have trekked all the way to the North Pole. It was announced today that 15,000 Elves will be let go from Santa’s toy factory. The news is quite shocking as we are weeks away from Christmas and it appears Santa can’t afford to pay all of his elves, with massive upcoming tariffs being levied upon him.
Many assumed the North Pole was safe from President Donald Trump’s tariffs, which are already in place against many countries, notably China. Trump is a ardent supporter of the phrase “Merry Christmas,” but in a stunning move last weekend he announced the temporary tariffs on all goods brought into the US from the North Pole.
“His whole family has been and will always be on the naughty list. Except for Tiffany, she’s alright,” Santa told us as he took a hot cocoa break.
The decision to have such a massive layoff bothers Santa. Rumor has it Santa might find cheap labor from the South Pole in order to fill the orders he has this holiday season, similar to a move made during “The Great Depression” when he nearly closed up shop. That was when Santa Stock hit an all-time low of only 3 cookies and 17 crumbs per share.
Reports are the Elves have been offered jobs at Amazon. Many are still hoping to find something not as soul-crushing. Many of the Elves don’t have savings as rent around Santa’s workshop has risen significantly over the years. Hopefully, a reboot of Lord of the Rings comes along to employ these hard-working dwarves.
Photo by Lisa Gansky from New York, NY, USA || CC-BY-SA-2.0