Melania In 'Time Out' After Acting Out
Flake News has discovered that First Lady and trophy wife to The Orange Troll, Melania Trump, has been put in “time out” in a remote corner of the East Wing of the White House for actually opening her mouth and speaking.
Much like senior aide, and “step-son-in-law,” Jared Kushner, Melania has rarely spoken in public, preferring, instead, to stand beside her bloated, idiot of a spouse, fake smile plastered on her face and a look of hatred for the Troll glinting behind those slits-for-eyes.
The public has former deputy national security advisor Mira Ricardel to thank for this latest exhibition of Trumpian entitlement.
Ricardel, who admittedly, has acquired a long list of enemies as well as a nasty reputation for bellowing at subordinates, has butted heads with Melania on several occasions, but the proverbial nail in her coffin was a direct result of her spat with Melania’s staff over seating for the feisty Slovenian’s flight to Africa. Seating!
The poop splattered the fan when the former “model” and mother of youngest Trump spawn Barron, publicly called for Ricardel’s axing, an official who Melania has never actually met.
Take THAT Ivana Trump, the Troll’s first trophy wife who, when asked about her ex-husband’s prospects as a presidential candidate, replied, “Yes, but the problem is, what is he going to do with his third wife? She can’t talk, she can’t give a speech, she doesn’t go to events, she doesn’t seem to want to be involved.”
That was then, and apparently, this is now. Never a skilled communicator, the pissed-off Melania had no issue with letting her hubby know that she wanted Ricardel gone.
According an anonymous White House source, Melania let him know, in her heavily accented English, that, if he didn’t immediately tell Ricardel to clean out her desk, then “No more yearly sexy time for you!”
The Orange Troll, who is such a vindictive SOB that he lashed out at aides for allowing Melania’s television on Air Force One to air CNN – or the “fake news” as he refers to the outlet – complied with his wife’s wishes, but not without repercussions.
Demanding a “time out” for Melania, who was all too happy to submit to, the Troll took further steps by having aides remove all of his wife’s designer clothing, expensive cosmetics, Chanel No. 5 perfume, Crème de la Mer face cream – even her long, painstakingly Ombre-highlighted wigs! What’s a woman to do!
Apparently, she should repair to her room with a toothbrush, toothpaste – and a jar of (generic) petroleum jelly.
Art by Sharon Lee Rosenbaum. Copy by Sherry McGuinn