After Siri-Wikipedia Hack, Public Demands Trump Is Sacked And ‘The Pic’ Is Made POTUS
As the result of Donald Trump’s Wikipedia page being hijacked by a hacker, users of the Siri service have been treated to an unusual image of Mr. Trump. The hacker substituted a picture of the President with one of a flaccid phallus. For a brief period before the hack was discovered and corrected, anyone asking Siri for a picture of Donald Trump were treated to the image of the big fat floppy thing (the penis, not Trump).
There have been interesting reactions to this act of cyber vandalism, not least from the president himself. In a hastily assembled press conference, President Trump demanded that the record be put straight.
“That was not mine!” protested an angry Commander-in-Chief, “It’s a matter of record that the ‘donaconda’ is over three feet long and has ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’ tattooed on it in Calibri Bold font size 48, just ask Stormy!”
There followed much derisory sniggering from the press pack, most of whom were in the process of being manhandled from the press room by burly secret servicemen in case they were brave enough to ask a question and for not believing a ‘TAF’ (Trump Alternative Fact – the latest acronym for Trump lies). It was noted that they were all chanting ‘small hands’ as they were bundled out.
Another ‘body’ to make its displeasure publicly known about the image substitution is the American Society of Flashers. A spokesman for this organization, Mr. Willie-Dan Glingout was palpably angry when he gave an interview to the media.
“We’re a dedicated bunch of semi-professional flashers,” barked Mr. Glingout, “Our members have been flopping about in parks and public places twenty-four seven, three six five, come rain hail sleet and snow… not so much the snow, perhaps. Our members don’t perform well in cold conditions. My point, though, is this. Now, when our members show their members to passers by, instead of the shocked and outraged reaction we crave, our victims will just point at our ‘not-so-hidden potential,’ laugh and shout ‘good morning Mr. President.’”
However, by far the biggest and most vocal reaction has come from social media. A campaign was started by a group calling itself ‘Pic Trumpin’ in which members sought support from the broader public to remove Trump from office and then give the job of President of the United States to the photograph of the member.
“We recognize that there are merits and de-merits in giving the job of POTUS to a photograph of a limp penis but overall the pic wins hands down,” said their spokeswoman Sally Forth. She went on to list the pros and cons of having a picture of a flaccid penis as the Commander-in-Chief as follows:
Pro: The willie-pic isn’t a narcissistic, arrogant, adulterous, misogynistic, racist and vindictive liar, enriching himself, his family and his cronies using his office and preferring blood soaked Saudi dollars to taking a moral stand against that country’s state sponsored murder of innocent Yemenis and that of Jamal Khashoggi, an outspoken critic of Saudi’s de facto thug leader.
Con: It’s a picture of genitals.
“No contest,” said Ms. Forth, “Overwhelmingly the public’s vote goes with the ‘digital dong.’”
The prospect that Trump might be replaced by the penis photo has been well received by the UN and many world leaders. Secretary-General António Guterres was first to voice his support for the motion to have this happen.
“For a start it’d be wonderful to deal with one US Penis President that doesn’t call our countries craphole,” said a delighted and hopeful Sec-Gen.
President Macron of France was dismissive of the move, however, commenting, “What difference will this make? The US is already being run by a two dimensional prick.”
Photo by Michael Vadon | CC-BY-SA-4.0 International