After Firing, Jeff Sessions To Launch Line Of Dolls Called 'My Little Racist'
After months of speculation, Jeff Sessions was asked to resign by the President of the United States and the former House-Elf turned Attorney General was finally fired. The news hasn’t dampened the his spirits. The most recent departure from the White House is hoping to hit the ground running. Instead of writing a book, Sessions has a new fresh idea. Jeff Sessions is starting a toy line of plush dolls.
The dolls will be called “My Little Racist.” The dolls will be modeled after Sessions. Picture a Cabbage Patch Doll, but extremely racist. Sessions has been a fan of dolls his whole life. There were even some rumors that he had a voodoo doll of the president, and every morning he would poke it in the butt.
The Dolls will be offered in a multitude of styles. All of them will have pale white skin, like Jefferson Beauregard Sessions. There will be “Work Style Sessions” featuring the doll in a suit. Other styles will include “I Do Declare Casual Sessions,” “Sporty Sessions” and “Jazzy Jeff Sessions.” Additional accessories are available for purchase, like a Confederate flag for the little doll to wave.
Jeff hopes to have them out in time for this holiday season, although he did oddly mention that the dolls would not be sold on “Black Friday.” When asked for an explanation, Jeff just glared back at us. Hopefully, this little racist can sell a bunch of his “My Little Racist” so he can no longer do racist things in politics.