UNBIASED POLITICAL SATIRE & HUMOR FOR SNOWFLAKES LIKE YOU.

We Only Report What We Want to Hear. You Decide.

 

Blue Man Group Is Designated A Hate Group By Southern Poverty Law Center

Blue Man Group Is Designated A Hate Group By Southern Poverty Law Center

World-famous performance artists Blue Man Group have been designated a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, according to a press statement released on Thursday. According to the SPLC, "the musical act collectively known as the Blue Man Group have inspired hate crimes and a growing culture of blue supremacy in Donald Trump's America."

"In this post-truth era where Flake News reigns supreme, we must continue to call out acts of bigotry and this is why Blue Man Group have been appropriately designated a hate group. I am disgusted by their blatant use of blue face," tweeted CEO of the SPLC Richard Cohen. "We must resist hate everywhere."

"The Southern Poverty Law Center is getting out of control to a point to where they're labeling everyone and their mother a hate group," said an anonymous source close to Blue Man Group. "Really, they're just a scam that uses the tragedy of racism to enrich themselves, protect their allies, and slander their enemies."

White nationalist Richard Spencer reportedly tried making contact with Blue Man Group after "hearing the good news." However, the group refused to speak with Spencer as his views ultimately conflicted with their desire for blue supremacy in the performance art world.

"I was really psyched to find out Blue Man Group was all on board with racism," said Spencer to Flake News reporters. "But I am disappointed that they don't want to associate themselves with white nationalists and are not owning up to their designation by the SPLC. They're just like those poser Proud Boys who say they aren't a hate group."

CNN host Don Lemon sent out a tweet condemning Blue Man Group, Richard Spencer, and the whole of white men. "Both Richard Spencer and Blue Man Group are disgusting. Blue face and white nationalism has no place in a tolerant, progressive America. We need to stop demonizing people," tweeted Lemon. "And generally speaking, white males are the biggest terrorists known to man."

All upcoming shows for Blue Man Group have been cancelled as a result of their designation as a hate group. Many fans still have not been refunded, according to multiple reports.

"It sucks that Blue Man Group had to cancel their show because people are getting too sensitive nowadays, freaking out about dirty jokes and ethnic Halloween costumes of Disney princesses," said one fan who would like to remain nameless. "This is so annoying and what's worse is I still haven't been refunded."

"I don't think giving Blue Man Group a platform to perform necessarily inspires hate," said another anonymous fan. "But that's 2018 for you."

 

Photo by luiscantero | CC-BY-SA-3.0 Unported

Obama Criticizes Trump’s Chronic Mendacity, Prez Claims ‘Not To Know Meaning Of Word’ And At Last Believed

Obama Criticizes Trump’s Chronic Mendacity, Prez Claims ‘Not To Know Meaning Of Word’ And At Last Believed

Obama Wears MAGA Hat During Speech: Leaving Democratic Party Or Trying To Drive Republicans Away From Trump?

Obama Wears MAGA Hat During Speech: Leaving Democratic Party Or Trying To Drive Republicans Away From Trump?