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Obama Criticizes Trump’s Chronic Mendacity, Prez Claims ‘Not To Know Meaning Of Word’ And At Last Believed

Obama Criticizes Trump’s Chronic Mendacity, Prez Claims ‘Not To Know Meaning Of Word’ And At Last Believed

 

In a series of speeches in Milwaukee and Detroit, ex-President Barack Obama accused President Trump and obliquely the whole of the Republican party of continuously and shamelessly lying to the electorate.

“What we have not seen before in our public life is politicians just blatantly, repeatedly, baldly, shamelessly, lying. Just making stuff up,” Obama said. “Calling up down. Calling black white…. just making stuff up.”

Trump, a thin-skinned megalomaniac with a super-ego, was quick to react to Obama’s statement in a speech made to a bunch of Hell’s Angels outside a diner in Stringemup County, Mississippi. Defending his honesty and integrity Trump unleashed a vitriolic polemic at Obama, ‘crooked’ Hillary Clinton, the Democrats and anyone who has ever or will ever vote for them, blacks, Hispanics, Muslims, the Chinese government, Stormy Daniels, Michael Cohen, his own Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Robert DeNiro, the late Laurel & Hardy and even the now retired circus performer, ‘Beppo’ the sad faced clown.

“When have I ever lied?” bleated a tearful president, “These butt-munching, leftie, live-on-your-knees, hippy liberals are the fecking liars, not me!”

The President then went on to list the number of lies spread about him his opponents have openly spouted in public since he began his campaign for the presidency.

“Let’s start with that codswallop the so called ‘Steele’ dossier about me and those two ‘escorts’ in that Russian hotel bedroom, and me getting them to pee on Obama’s bed. I did NOT do that. The golden shower thing was their idea.

Then there’s the filthy lies told about me being blackmailed by Putin because he had the whole event on tape, another blatant lie. It wasn’t tape! It was a CCTV hard drive!

And what about the scurrilous untruths told about me giving a briefcase full of crisp new $100 bills to that skunk Cohen to pay off Stormy Daniels and that Playgirl whose name I can’t remember now. Another blatant lie! It was USED notes and the cash was in a jiffy bag!

Then I was accused of calling all of Africa ‘shithole countries.’ Have you ever been to any of them? Was I lying?

Then there was another when they accused me of milking my office for personal financial gain, and for the benefit of my family and friends. Yep! I did it, and still do, but I’ve never lied about it. True, the bills for the stays in my own properties for me, my family and friends are extortionate but I never lied about them. They’re all obscenely high but legitimate. Hell, they’re my properties and I can charge what I like.”

Trump then went on to denounce the definition of lying saying it was ancient, not fit for purpose and out of date as far as it applied to him.

“A lie is a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive, an intentional untruth, a falsehood, something intended or serving to convey a false impression. This pre-supposes the liar lies deliberately and doesn’t believe what he’s saying to be the truth. It’s a well known medical fact that I’m self-delusionary and believe everything I say is the truth. Therefore, just like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. Also, my parents were famously self-delusionary. So I’m congenitally incapable of telling a lie, another fact! How d’you like them apples, Obama!”

The president then made his excuses to the Hell’s Angels as he ‘had to go talk with God because He needed some advice on whether or not to fire Pope Francis for the Catholic church’s cack-handed kiddy-fiddling cover-ups.

When asked for a reaction to Trump’s statement, AG Jeff Sessions said, “Donald who? Have I had my dinner yet?”

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America | CC-BY-SA-2.0

Ryan Zinke Just Another Stinker In A Fetid Pond

Ryan Zinke Just Another Stinker In A Fetid Pond

Blue Man Group Is Designated A Hate Group By Southern Poverty Law Center

Blue Man Group Is Designated A Hate Group By Southern Poverty Law Center