Alex Jones Is Pictured Pleasuring A Pangender Platypus In Pittsburgh
Infowars creator Alex Jones was allegedly photographed pleasuring a pangender platypus in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Jones told Flake News reporters that the picture was completely fabricated by the globalists who have reportedly been out to get him since the very beginning. In the photograph, Jones appears to be servicing the animal in a sexual manner.
Jones told reporters that he was doing research in the Pittsburgh Zoo, investigating a pangender outbreak among their platypus population. He told reporters that he really gave "one platypus a hug, but a sneaky goblin took a snapshot and photoshopped that picture to fit their perverted globalist narrative."
"I don't remember Alex Jones doing anything sexual during that time in Pittsburgh," said one pangender platypus. "I'm attracted to people based on personality and let's just say AJ didn't fit the bill."
The Infowars mastermind said that the globalists' plan to link him to bestiality is really a diversion as they've been allegedly genetically engineering humans and animals for years behind the public's back.
"You see, these are some sick puppies here," said Jones. "This is what they want to do. When I talk about human-animal chimeras gestating and breeding on US farms, when I talk about chemicals in the water turning the frickin' frogs gay, they'll be like 'oh, here's a picture of Alex Jones going down on a pangender platypus.' And they're pangender, by the way, because they're swimming in the water that's changing everyone's gender across the country!"
Photo by Mark Taylor from Rockville, USA | CC-BY-2.0