Paul Ryan Spotted Wearing Yoga Pants With 'Bought and Bribed' On The Booty
Paul Ryan was seen today speed walking around the DC area. There was something a little unusual about his stroll, primarily his choice of attire. The Speaker of the House was sporting a pair of yoga pants with the phrase “Bought and Bribed” on the rear end. An odd fashion choice for the conservative in both attire and political stance.
After doing some digging, our Flake News team discovered the pants areapart of a new fashion line designed by Ryan himself. He’s hoping to have a second act after politics and wishes to take the fashion world by storm.
The line will be called 1% Apparel and features many mainstays of the Republican party. Sizes will vary from Small to 5Xl. Everything will be made in China, using the cheapest sweatshops known to man. Caucasian men over 45 will have priority when new merchandise is available.
Some samples that were been passed around the Hill are becoming quite popular with some members in the Senate. Mitch McConnell was seen wearing a hat that read “The Democrats Developed the Deficit.” Susan Collins was dressed in a bedazzled sweatshirt with the phrase “I Believe Rich White Men” written on it. With Paul Ryan not running for re-election this will be his focus next year. 26 million Americans are so happy he has decided to do this instead of trying to take away their healthcare.