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Khashoggi Murdered By Iranians Claims Prince In Latest Lies, Trumps Says ‘It’s Plausible’

Khashoggi Murdered By Iranians Claims Prince In Latest Lies, Trumps Says ‘It’s Plausible’

 

In a totally un-astonishing twist in the story of the murder of mild mannered journalist and critic of the Sadli Backwardian de facto ruler, Clown Prince Irritable Bowel Syndrome, the Prince today made the extraordinary claim that it was the Iranians that murdered Khashoggi.

In a statement read by the Prince to a press gathering via video link from the Clown Prince’s gold plated Jacuzzi, IBS asserted that he had irrefutable proof that the sixteen assassins he sent to the Istanbul Sadli embassy to help Khashoggi ‘fill in the difficult forms required for his wedding license’ were secretly in the pay of the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran, Ali Khamenei.

When asked via video link what exactly was his proof, the Clown Prince said, “I feel it in my water, and that’s enough proof for you infidel dogs!”

However, a scantily clad dusky concubine to his right in the tub quickly added, “There is strong evidence to back up this load of nonsense. Each and every one of these assassins, when questioned, admitted they were working for the Iranians and we have a transcript of the pre-printed interrogation sheets of questions and answers with their signed confessions at the bottom to prove it,”

A rather damp copy of a sheet of paper was then held up to the video camera. On this was printed the following dialogue exchange:

‘Clown Prince IBS: You sixteen assassins… Are you all working for me?

Sixteen assassins (please all shout in unison): No, your highness.

Clown Prince IBS: Are you all, in fact, Iranian hit men working for Ali Khamenei?

Sixteen assassins (please all shout in unison): Yes, your highness.

Clown Prince IBS: On October 2nd did you visit the Sadli embassy in Istanbul for the specific purpose of carrying out the torture, murder and dismembering of that pig dog ratbag Khashoggi, a loyal Sadli citizen and devout supporter of the House of Saud?

Sixteen assassins (please all shout in unison): Yes, your highness.

Clown Prince IBS: Then you are all very bad indeed. Go to your rooms and have some more money.

Sixteen assassins (please all shout in unison): Yes, your highness.’

It was difficult to make out whether there were actually sixteen signatures at the bottom of the pre-printed document as this part was wet and covered with that scummy stuff you get on the surface of bubbling Jacuzzi water.

No further questioning of the Clown Prince could take place as a dusky concubine’s buttocks blocked the view of the video camera, and all that could be heard through the audio link was giggling concubines and bottles of ‘non-alcoholic’ champagne being popped open.

This latest claim by the Sadlis raises more questions that it gives answers. This point was made in a press conference with President Trump following the release of the Sadlis’ latest comedy plot.

“I think it’s credible,” declared the president, “After all, they’ve got enough money to convince me it could have happened like that.”

It was raised by the terrier-like young journalist from the UK comic, The Beano, that this was at least their fourth version of what happened to Khashoggi inside the Sadlis’ own property, and this version was so farcical it beggared belief. It was certainly probable that Khashoggi had been murdered then dismembered by the sixteen strong team of henchmen that arrived at the Sadli embassy an hour ahead of Khashoggi. This team included the country’s top forensic scientist famous for his ‘roaming autopsies,’ as well as the Clown Prince’s head of security. However, it was ridiculous that these killers were, in fact, under orders from Iran.

“It was too daft to laugh at,” claimed the lad from The Beano.

“You’re deliberately forgetting the money factor,” shouted the President at the young journalist, “Where there’s money there’s truth! Their offer to buy more Yemeni killing crap off us is now above $400 billion. That’s a lot of dough… beautiful dough. I’m just like Stormy Daniels in one respect. I’m prepared to swallow anything for a large enough pile of money.”

 
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