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Angry Backlash From Melania At President’s ‘Very Rude’ Kavanaugh Protest Tweet

Angry Backlash From Melania At President’s ‘Very Rude’ Kavanaugh Protest Tweet

 

Following President Donald Trump’s posting of a tweet railing against the ‘very rude’ protesters who have been flooding Capitol Hill ahead of the expected cloture vote to end debate on Brett Kavanaugh's Supreme Court nomination, the president’s wife, Melania has finally weighed into the battle with venom.

Currently touring ‘crap’ countries to promote lip augmentation surgery for Africans with thin lips, the angry first lady barked at the press pack that has been dogging her every move, screeching, “My darling husband has finally completely lost the plot.”

The president’s tweet that had so enraged his wife read as follows:

"The very rude elevator screamers are paid professionals only looking to make Senators look bad. Don’t fall for it! Also, look at all of the professionally made identical signs. Paid for by Soros and others. These are not signs made in the basement from love! #Troublemakers,"

‘Was it your husband’s reference to unsubstantiated claims that Democratic donor George Soros is involved that has annoyed you?” asked the ubiquitous journalist from the HuffPost.

“Is it feck!” snapped back the first lady, “ It’s his use of the term ‘very rude.’ It beggars belief.”

After a short pause while a team of cyber mechanics oiled her jaws, the first lady then went on to elaborate.

“I couldn’t give a gibbon’s toss about the politics. Kavanaugh is a harmless drunken groper. So what? Washington’s full of ‘em. Whether he gets the poxy job or he doesn’t is of no consequence to me. But when my husband describes the protesting women as ‘very rude’ for holding up a pre-printed sign and shouting their dislike of Kavanaugh it’s clear to me he has no concept of what the phrase ‘very rude’ means.”

“In my book,” she continued, “’very rude’ is paying hookers to pee on a bed, or having adulterous affairs with ex adult stars and playgirls while your wife’s cringing at home, humiliated in front of every citizen on the planet. ‘Very rude’ is bad-mouthing the testimony of a female sexual assault victim to the world’s press. ‘Vey rude’ is boasting that he’s so powerful he can grab women’s genitals with impunity. These are just a few examples of what ‘very rude’ means to any normal person with decent moral standards.”

Asked by the reporter from the UK publication for gardeners, ‘Thyme Magazine,’ whether, apart from the irritation caused back home by her husband, she was enjoying her African tour, the first lady admitted she was having a ball.

“I’m learning so much,” she said.

When pressed to expand on her remark by the journalist for the UK comic, ‘The Topper,’ Melania said, “The African women have got it right. They really know how to control a wayward husband. I’ll say no more than that.”

With that the first lady concluded the interview and returned her meeting with the local doctor. It was noted that Mrs. Trump had forgotten to take with her a small doll about a foot in length. The doll was dressed in a suit and had blond comb-over hair, a large mouth, and a long pin through its genitals.

 

Photo by Peabody Awards | CC-BY-2.0

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