Kanye West-Kardashian, Stupid Like A Fox? The Inside Story Of Kanye's Quest To Abolish The 13th Amendment
On September 30th, 2018, Kanye West-Kardashian, hereafter referred to as Kanye Kardashian for brevity's sake, sent out a tweet that confused many. The tweet supported Donald Trump's Make America Great Again Campaign and ended it with, "We will provide jobs for all who are free from prisons as we abolish the 13th amendment. Message sent with love." Social media experts and the American public quickly tried to discern what Kanye Kardashian actually meant and most determined that he was referring to the part of the 13th Amendment that allows the government to use prisoners as free labor and that, as usual, he just didn't think about what he was saying before he said it. After all, Kim Kardashian had been to the White House recently in an effort to influence the "President" to enact prison reform.
Flake News interviewed reality television show expert Edgar Cobrel to get more insight into this theory. Edgar said that, "It all makes total sense. This is Kim's pet project and so Kanye probably just fell in line and tried to help without really thinking it through. It's obvious that she wears the pants in the family since she makes more money than him, which is why he took her last name. So like an over-eager puppy he jumped in head first without getting all of his facts straight." So was that really the answer? Is Kanye Kardashian just stupid and way in over his head? Or is he stupid like a fox?
We interviewed an anonymous source from within the Kardashian family that said that Kanye Kardashian knew exactly what he was talking about and was truly trying to get the "President" to abolish the 13th Amendment in order to give black people the choice to become slaves again; just like when they had that choice before the Civil War. Kanye then planned on buying 200 or so slaves to develop a new "Ye" line of Make America Great Again clothing. The source said that Kanye thought he'd be a great master and that he wouldn't abuse his slaves, he'd only whip them when they truly deserved it. Kim seems to support the idea because she thinks that the slave aspect of Kanye's business will create a lot of drama for the next season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
A request for comment to Mr. Kardashian led to a phone call at 3:00 A.M. that was captured on our voicemail. The call lasted for approximately 13 minutes in which Kanye discussed a range of topics, including how much greater he is than Jesus, the significance of Ye, the daily beatings he receives from Kim, and in the final ten seconds, his response to the article. Kanye said this is what needs to happen in order to make America great again and that this will help the black man. Kanye ended saying, "I'm not black, I'm evolved! A new species, darker than the black man, more powerful than the white man, I'm the voice of this generation!"
Photo by Jason Persse | CC-BY-SA-2.0