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President’s Fury At New Rap Record Release: ‘Trump’s A F—ing Russian’

President’s Fury At New Rap Record Release: ‘Trump’s A F—ing Russian’


Following the recent criticism of Donald Trump by the potty-mouthed rapper and has-been, Leroy Spit, President Trump has called the aging deadbeat ‘a nobody and a talentless… er, African American.’

Spit’s criticism of Trump in the lyrics of his latest rap release comes hot on the heels of Sir Paul McCartney’s admission that the lyrics of one of the songs on his recently released 18th solo album, referring to the ‘mad captain’ were aimed at President Trump. The lyrics of Sir Paul’s song also include the phrases ‘Despite repeated warnings of dangers up ahead, the captain won’t be listening to what’s been said’ and ‘those who shout the loudest, may not always be the smartest.’

McCartney, a man that has assiduously taken care to avoid becoming embroiled in any political controversies throughout his long career, has at last put his head above the parapet and accused Trump of being a dangerous climate change denier pointing out that it is a matter of record that Trump has called climate change a ‘hoax.’

But it was Leroy Spit’s lyrics not McCartney’s that got under the President’s skin. A secret source within the Trump administration said, “When Trump heard the lyrics to Spits latest attempt at a song he went ape-crazy! He literally started kicking the furniture and other inanimate objects in the Oval office including Mike Pence. Obviously there was something in the lyrics that struck a nerve with the president.”

In a late afternoon press call, the reporter from HuffPost asked the President if it was true that he had reacted badly to the Spit release. In response the president banged his fist on the lectern and demanded that Attorney General Sessions pull his finger out of his butt and take action against what Trump called ‘the treacherous talentless black crapper’ (Spit).

“What is it with this sideways glancing cabbage patch AG I’m stuck with? Sessions is about as useful as a wet fart in a packed lift!” barked the Commander-in-Chief, “Where’s his balls? Why isn’t he doing his job properly and locking up Spit and throwing away the key?”

When pressed, the President confessed it was the opening verse of the aging rap artiste’s song, “Trump’s a f***ing Russian” ** that had got up the President’s nose.

The president was palpably incandescent and struggled to keep control of his temper when from the back of the room the reporter from the UK comic ‘The Beano’ started to sing the song’s lyrics quietly to himself.

As six burly security guards manhandled the weedy young British reporter from the press gathering, Trump was heard thumping the lectern shouting, “I AM NOT BALD! I have luscious golden tresses that when they’re unfurled flow from the top of my head right down to my butthole!”

Leroy Spit, now working in Australia as a newspaper deliveryman, was contacted immediately following the press conference and was quoted as saying, “It’s f***ing 5am! Is that you Mum? I’m getting up, honest!”

** The lyrics to the first verse of Leroy Spits song ‘Trump’s a F***ing Russian:’

Old MacDonald f***ing Trump

He’s a F***ing nasty c***

In anybody’s f***ing book

Trump’s a f***ing evil low life crook

He is no f***ing Plato

Cos he’s screwing f***ing NATO

He’s been f***ing Stormy Daniels

(And her f***ing Cocker Spaniels)

He’s f***ing screwing all Americans

And f***ing lying about hurricanes

Tells the world his f***ing FBI is bad

While sucking up to that f***ing Ruskie, Vlad

It’s f***ing Putin’s plans he’s always pushin’

Because Trump’s a f***ing Russian!

He’s a f***ing commie can’t you tell?

… and what’s more he’s f***ing bald as well!


Photo by Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America | CC-BY-SA-2.0

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