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Cirque Du Soleil Hire Paul Manafort To ‘Flip’ In Their Downtown Disney Show

Cirque Du Soleil Hire Paul Manafort To ‘Flip’ In Their Downtown Disney Show

 

In a remarkable turn of events, circus entertainment giants Cirque du Soleil have hired Paul ‘Moneyfraud’ Manafort to perform his notorious ‘flip’ as the finale act at their permanent show site in Downtown Disney. They have agreed to a fee of $1.4m for a ‘one night only’ show scheduled for 12 October this year (assuming Moneyfraud is out on bail and can make the gig).

“We’re absolutely delighted and believe the show will draw a record box office take. It’s a trick no one believed he had the guts to do,” said a spokesman for the entertainment giant, Mr. Roland Tumble, “With the president of the United States blowing smoke up your butt you’ve gotta be pretty brave to flip like he did.”

Moneyfraud’s attorney, Kevin Downing, made the following statement to a hastily assembled press pack:

“This is a good deal for Paul and a good deal for Cirque du Soleil. The money will be put into a numbered account in Switzerland for Paul to access should he ever leave prison at some future date. However, the deeper that bloodhound Mueller digs into this mess, the less likely it seems my client will ever see the light of day again.”

When pressed for the details of Moneyfraud’s deal with Mueller, Downing confirmed that the key elements of the plea bargain agreement are threefold as follows:

a) Moneyfraud agreed to sing like a canary in return for the FBI making sure Trump’s side don’t smear his cell door with ‘unknown substances’ they have access to from a ‘friend of Trump’s who lives abroad.’

b) Moneyfraud gets three weeks remission off an 88 year jail sentence as opposed to being given the needle for being an unpatriotic treacherous ratbag for undermining US democracy by helping the Russians fiddle the 2016 election and putting their blackmail victim Trump into the office of POTUS.

c) Moneyfraud will only be made to join the ‘pick-a-snitch’ party in cell block H every alternate Friday night (and he gets to keep all his teeth).

A spokesman for Robert Mueller said, “The deal is fine by us. I understand he’ll be dressed as a clown for the performance. Nice! I hope they televise the event nationwide so everyone in the country, especially the president and his cronies, can watch the traitor perform his flip in public and think about what they’ll do when it’s their turn.”

 

Photo by Disney | ABC Television Group’s photostream + ABC NEWS | CC-BY-ND 2.0

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