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Andrew Cuomo Roundhouse Kicks Flake News Reporter, Rips Off Shirt And Tells Trump 'You're Next!'

Andrew Cuomo Roundhouse Kicks Flake News Reporter, Rips Off Shirt And Tells Trump 'You're Next!'

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo broke into a home and assaulted a Flake News reporter shortly after defeating progressive opponent Cynthia Nixon by more than 30 points in the gubernatorial Democratic primary. Cuomo targeted the reporter for writing an article that "barked up the wrong tree with the wrong guy at the wrong time."

At the stroke of midnight on Friday, September 14, Cuomo kicked in the door of a Nassau County residence. In a state of rage, the governor stormed up the stairs to catch the "troublemaker" laughing at memes and smoking pot.

"You don't the know the poo you just stepped in, kid!" said Cuomo before tackling the writer sitting down with a bowl in hand.

The reporter was able to push the enraged governor off of him but he was met with a roundhouse kick to the temple. The governor repeatedly struck the young reporter in the face until it turned purple and his knuckles pink.

"Why?" said the twitching Flake News reporter.

"I got an election to win in November before I take the fight to Donald Trump in 2020. Got that, kid? You barked up the wrong tree with the wrong guy at the wrong time," said Cuomo. "A few years ago, I'd probably let that exposé about my administration slide. But now with that treasonous troll in the White House, I need to go full Jean-Claude Van Damme to save America."

The reporter coughed up blood and Cuomo pocketed the bowl and the small bag of cannabis. "You know, I'm smoking this. You little punk, troublemaker, you should know your place in the pecking order."

"Pathetic. I'll call an ambulance for you," said Cuomo. "Don't worry, the state of New York will be paying for it."

As the ceiling light eclipsed the governor in a dark glow, he ripped his shirt off and let out a battle cry. "Trump, you're next!" yelled Cuomo before he stormed out of the reporter's house in a blind rage.

While in the hospital, the Flake News reporter was granted a laptop by his bedside in order to write this article further exposing the corruption in the administration of Andrew Cuomo.

 

Photo by Diana Robinson | CC-BY-2.0

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