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Trump Accuses Himself Of Being The Anonymous Op-Ed Article Author

Trump Accuses Himself Of Being The Anonymous Op-Ed Article Author

 

In another incident of what’s becoming increasingly normal ‘bizarre’ behavior by Donald Trump, President Donald Trump has accused himself of being the anonymous author of the NYT article that criticizes his presidency. To a hastily assembled press pack in the middle of the night, the president, dresses in his Nazi uniform onesie, and with his eyes tightly shut and arms outstretched in front of him said in a monotone, “I know it’s me by the frequent use of a certain word.”

When pressed on the matter, Mr. Trump snored, “The word is ‘Trump’ and it is used repeatedly throughout the piece. I use that word a lot so it must have been me.”

Despite his weeping wife’s pleas of ‘come back to bed Donnie’ the president went on to add, “It’s a disgrace. Why hasn’t that sideways glancing cabbage patch retard Sessions done something about this and arrested me for treason?”

The ever present reporter from the HuffPost was quick to point out to the president that the contents of the Op-Ed piece did not constitute a treasonable offence. The journalist, also dressed in a onesie (Mickey Mouse), went on to point out that if he wanted to be arrested for committing treasonable offences then there were better choices.

“How about colluding with the Russians to nobble the 2016 elections?”

Another journalist from the press pack added, “… And using your office for personal and family gain.”

There then followed a barrage of suggestions from the assembled press that included siding with Putin to the detriment of his own security organisations on the worldwide stage, blabbing state security secrets to other governments and to the press, making himself vulnerable to blackmail from hostile forces by allegedly taking dodgy Russian money and through his amoral and adulterous behavior with escorts by playing the ‘gold shower’ game in a Russian hotel bedroom.

After a brief and uncomfortable silence the president said, “Take this up with Rudi… I think I need to go pee-pee,” after which he turned round and waddled out of the room.

When Trump’s private lawyer was contacted immediately following the president’s departure, lawyer Rudy Giuliani was quoted as saying, “Where’s my teeth honey… Hello? Who is this? Do you know what time it is? Go to hell!”

 

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America | CC-BY-SA-2.0

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