Nike Makes Shoe Sponsoring Donald Trump
Phil Knight recently announced a new shoe line called Trump Stumps. These shoes, although met with enormous controversy, will be available this basketball season.
What makes these shoes unique is they have the ability to allow the wearer to sway in different directions, they have no shoelaces to hold them together, and they squeak a lot.
The color of the shoes is squash orange, with a gigantic tongue that is so big, the person wearing them often steps on it. Nike didn’t use the traditional swoosh sign. Instead they opted for the Twitter logo.
One customer said, “These are the loudest, squeakiest shoes I’ve ever worn. And, it’s funny because the more I walk in them, the less I seem to be getting anywhere.”
Phil Knight commented, “We wanted to make a shoe that matched the Donald Trump Presidency. The longer you wear these shoes, they more they fall apart.”
What’s interesting about the new Nike shoe is that it has a bubble of hot air that could explode at any moment. As mentioned in the commercials, if your shoes blow up, you simply go buy another pair. Some people call it a complete scam, and others call it brilliant marketing.
One customer commented, “They look great, but when you’re 40 years old, white, and you realize you have no talent or skills, the hype gets old really fast. You come to the realization that maybe you shouldn’t have bought them in the first place.”
Fox News has been running ads that Barack Obama’s shoes were way worse until it was pointed that Nike never sponsored Obama. Much to their dismay, Nike also didn’t sponsor Hillary Clinton. Or Bernie Sanders. In the words of Donald Trump, “Nike only sponsors champions.”
Like other Donald Trump hats and golf shirts, these shoes were made in China. However, recently someone in Moscow bought out the contract, and now the shoes are made in Russia.
Nike’s slogan for these shoes reads: “Believe in something, even if you’re an idiot.”
Photo by Kremlin.ru || CC-BY-4.0 International