Los Angeles To Lebron: Take Your Talents Back To Cleveland
Los Angelans are infuriated that Lebron James has moved to their city. This fury came after James, on ESPN, announced: “I took my talents to South Beach, then Cleveland, and now I’m taking my talents to Los Angeles.”
And, the public outcry came from those exact words—I’m taking my talents to Los Angeles.
In a city where so many people are striving to become actors, comedians, screenwriters, and adult film stars, LA is already over saturated with talent.
A local bartender/waiter/hotel doorman added, “Look, we don’t need Lebron James’ encroaching on our space. I’m a waiter in the morning, a romance writer in the afternoon, a method actor in the late afternoon, a bartender in the evenings, and a country western singer at night. This city doesn’t need any more talent.”
LA was recently rated at the number three most talented city in United States right behind New York and Arnold, Texas (a small town with passionate survey voters where there is nothing to do but hold talent contests). Last year, LA ranked number ten on the America’s Most Talented City survey, but it’s jumped up seven spots with Lebron James moving there. But, the most Los Angelans desire to move down on that list.
“Look,” the angry bartender/waiter/hotel doorman continued, “I’m sleeping in my car, trying to find acting jobs. If a few million people, including Lebron James, moved out of LA, it would give the rest of us chance.”
He also explained, “I know that Lebron James is a basketball player or whatever, but he’s probably not even in the top 1,000 best basketball players in this city. We’ve got many talented kids who play basketball here, but they can’t concentrate on the sport because their parents are too busy driving them to acting and singing lessons. Lebron’s got to give these kids a chance and go back to Cleveland. When all you had in your city was Kid Cudi and Lebron James, talent has a better chance of succeeding there."
The city is holding a petition to raise money to buy out Lebron James’ contract and ship him back to Cleveland, a less talented city, where people love and revere him.
Photo by Arturo Pardavila III from Hoboken, NJ, USA || CC-BY-2.0