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Omarosa “Gevalt!” Newman 'Definitely Unhinged,' Says Orange Troll

Omarosa “Gevalt!” Newman 'Definitely Unhinged,' Says Orange Troll

How did a reality TV show star become a political aide to a reality TV show star? That’s a question most (rational) Americans are asking themselves as the luxuriously-coiffed Omarosa Manigault Newman girds her formidable loins to take down her former BFF, otherwise known as the SOB the truly unhinged among us made POTUS.

The former “Trumplican” has this to say about that: “Thank the good Lord we’re in America, where anything is possible,” adding, “As the president’s aide, I may not have had much to do, but I did it brilliantly.”

The Amazonian vixen of “The Apprentice,” “All-Star Apprentice,” “Celebrity Apprentice” “Apprentice To An A-Hole” and “Kiss My Rich Butt, America” checked her makeup in a Chanel compact and went on to add, “All of that was so yesterday. I now know Donald Trump for the racist, misogynist, bigoted clown he is. Not to mention the cheating, adult-star banging, big-headed, tiny pee-peed cretin who, unfortunately, was still able to spawn. I cannot stand his family, but I feel for them.”

 

 

She fished something that looked like kale from between her perfect teeth, snapped the compact shut and tossed it into her Birkin.

When The Flake News asked Omarosa on what grounds she was rating the Troll’s appendage as “tiny,” the woman “America loves to hate,” quickly replied, “It’s just a guess. A well-calculated guess. Look at Melania’s face for the love of God. All scrunched up…terrible.”

When asked by a member of the White House Press to comment, the Troll scuttled across the White House lawn and tossed back: “She’s effin’ nuts. UNHINGED.”

“Well THAT’S calling the kettle black,” said Omarosa. She then leaned in and lowered her voice to a near whisper. “I have tapes, you know. Lots and lots of tapes. Including the one where that butt kisser Kelly fired me over what he called some ‘pretty serious integrity violations.’ Huh. He wouldn’t know integrity if it sat on his face.”

As Omarosa gathered up her things to flee the interview, we were able to pose one last question: “What do you think of the President referring to you as a ‘dog’?”

The reality star flashed us her trademark megawatt smile and responded, “You DO know what ‘dog’ is…spelled backward?

#Sculpted in Plastalina clay, molded and cast in latex. Hand-painted.

 

 
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