David Pecker, the “newspaper” publisher who puts the ‘fake’ in “fake news” and helped cover up Trump’s trollops during the 2016 presidential campaign, has now turned on his favorite troll.
“Can you hear the sound of scurrying little feet as the rats start abandoning the sinking ship of state?” said U.S. Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) as he packed his own overnight bag while awaiting arrest on misusing $250,000 of campaign financing funds. “If we Republicans lose the support of the National Enquirer then Fox & Friends can’t be far behind.”
Pecker was reportedly granted immunity from prosecution in the Michael Cohen case, a case in which the president’s personal lawyer pleaded guilty to eight criminal charges connected to campaign finance violations connected to covering up Trump’s philandering in the run up to the election.
Rumors are circulating amongst Trump’s inner circle that with his Pecker in the prosecutorial vice, POTUS is urging his staffers to start arriving for White House staff meetings dressed as witches, complete with broomsticks and pointy hats. Although unconfirmed at press time, one staffer quoted the president as declaring: “Hey, I told the American people that this is just one big witch hunt and dammit, if Mueller is going to keep indicting and convicting those around me, they all better start dressing accordingly.”
Meanwhile, Karen Pence was reportedly seen sneaking into the Lincoln bedroom with a book of wallpaper samples.