Borscht-Swilling Carter Page Changes Spelling Of First Name To 'Karter'
In an attempt to prove that he isn’t just another oozing boil on the butt of the Presidency, Page, a former junior adviser to the Orange Troll’s campaign to denigrate the highest office in the land, and a lifetime member of The Hair Club For Men, swore, or rather, squeaked out a denial alleging traitorous behavior stating something to the effect of “I am not in Kollusion with the Kremlin. I am an advisor!”
Carter, or rather, “Karter,” as he now prefers to be known, suggested that, if anyone should be brought to task, “It’s that shit-for-brains, Devin Nunes.”
Nunes, as you’ll recall, caused quite quite the flap when he alleged in a document now cleverly known as the “Nunes Memo,” that the FBI withheld key information from the judges who approved and renewed the bureau’s application to place Page under secret surveillance.
Page, an “energy consultant” by trade, started bending over for his Russian comrades in 1991, when, after visiting Moscow, he became so enamored of the blood-red beet soup known as “borscht” that he sheepishly announced, “I’m practically addicted to this stuff.”
So hooked, was Page in fact, that he learned the language so he could visit renowned Moscow eateries like the famous Café Pushkin and order anything on the menu fluently, and with grace, thereby avoiding being spat upon by the arrogant wait staff.
That said – even though he could have anything he wanted – Page, a self-professed “regular guy,” reportedly told his favorite waiter, Anatoly, “Just give me a bowl of borsht and a blini and I’m good.”
What a mensch.
Sculpted in Plastina, molded and cast in latex. Handpainted. Hair hand laid. Red hat, Goodwill.
Shar & Sher Alike
Art by Sharon Lee Rosenbaum. Copy by Sherry McGuinn.