Stormy Daniels Leaves Her Husband For Being A Trump Supporter
Stormy Daniels, the porn star who claimed she had been in bed with President Donald Trump, has finalized her divorce with husband Glendon Crain. The reason, she claims, is because Crain has been living a double life as a meme master and Trump supporter.
“Don’t let the spiked hair fool you,” Crain said in a statement. “I style my hair like Trump when I think no ones looking. I’m not ashamed. I like to watch videos about him on YouTube and imitate his speech; such a fantastic speaker, the greatest in the world!”
Stormy Daniels was not impressed when she found out about his second life. She recalls the horror she felt when she walked in on him one Tuesday night.
“He was wearing an orange wig, saying words and phrases like ‘uge, fantastic, make America white again,’ I could go on. He plugged his nose so he could get the voice down, it was really scary how much he sounded like 45.”
According to Daniels, Crain admitted that he had been posting 50 memes a day to alt-right groups on Facebook, saying that, “There were some very fine people” amongst these groups. Daniels had heard enough.
“I impeached him in a sense,” she said. “I had to get rid of this crazy racist white boy. If I can’t impeach the real 45, I’ll settle for the next best thing.”
Daniels currently has a Tinder profile and says she’s into anyone who “wears pink cat hats and marches the streets naked for the resistance.” If that’s you, congratulations. If not, she says, “You have a better chance at marrying Trump himself.”
Photo by Toglenn || CC-BY-3.0-Unported