Obama Believes Trump To Be Terminator, Trump Counters With Frozone Claim
Former president Barack Obama has turned the tables on President Donald Trump in a shocking twist, requesting his birth certificate. Obama believes Trump is not only not an American citizen, but in fact may be from a different timeline altogether. He believes he saw a Skynet barcode tattooed on Trump’s lower back.
“Look, I don’t know what I believe in terms of conspiracy theories,” said Obama. “But I know what I saw. Michelle saw it, too. And I believe that Donald J. Trump may somehow related to the Terminator. If I’m wrong, then show me the birth certificate.”
Trump, at a press conference, responded to inquiries about his Terminator status with “Beep boop.” A press secretary would confirm that what he said and what he meant were not the same thing. “He meant to reaffirm the American population that he is, in fact, not a Terminator. Just the other day, he said ‘no’ when asked if Russia was still targeting the US. He meant ‘yes.’ ‘Beep boop’ is a common mistake,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Obama confirmed that he approached Trump about his barcode tattoo. In return, Trump told Obama to not worry, that the barcode scanned for something “way too valuable to discuss. In fact, it’s probably the most valuable possession in the entire White House.” When scanned, Obama confirmed that Trump scanned as a 2-pack of peanut butter Grandma’s cookies.
Trump has countered with his belief that Obama is secretly Frozone from The Incredibles. When asked why, Trump dumbfoundedly asked, “Aren’t they both cool black guys?” Nobody can testify if the use of “cool” was some sort of layered Mr. Freeze joke. When asked about the Frozone comment, Michelle Obama had this to say:
“My husband is not Frozone. It’s preposterous that Trump could even believe something like this. That man is a Terminator. So is Melania. You ever seen her blink? I haven’t.”
Melania stepped up to comment on claims about whether her and her husband were in fact human, but was interrupted with a snowball to the face in the middle of this hot July. Those in attendance believe they could hear Obama laughing in the distance.
Illustration by Matt Kellman (@crawlspacestudio or firstname.lastname@example.org). Matt is an artist who prefers to draw his thoughts about the millions of headlines trying to convince him to give up hope. He thinks some people take things way too seriously and others not seriously enough. If he can start a dialogue with a picture, the world is a better place.