Lie Like A MoFo || Nasty Piece Of Work
NASTY PIECE OF WORK
An Ongoing Rant
Part 5: Lie Like A MoFo
“Everyone lies.” How many times have you heard that? Casually tossed off the loosened tongue of someone who has been rendered insensate by one-too-many Dirty Martinis?
Yeah. The truth is…everyone does indeed lie. From the Orange Troll to Paul Manafort to Sarah Huckabee Sanders to John Kelly to…well, damn near everyone in the venomous narcissist’s administration, past and present. (We’ll save "Mann" Coulter and the twaddle-dishing twits at Fox News for another time.)
Apparently, we live in the Age Of Relentless Dishonesty. Where it’s simply easier – and safer at times – to make something up, than to tell it like it is. That said, sometimes telling a lie, or “fib” (a less objectionable reference), is the best and/or kindest course of action to take. Example: A friend sheepishly utters the age-old, “Does my butt look fat in these pants?” What do you say? “Now that you mention it, you might want to set a limit on those ‘unlimited breadsticks’ at ‘Olive Garden.’”
Hell no! Instead, you come back with: “Wow! You’re really rockin’ Paleo! Can I have that recipe for cauliflower rice?” (Actually, really good, by the way.)
I’ve talked a lot about my former place of employ. So much so, that you Flakesters are probably thinking, “Screw it. Put your Big Girl Pants on and let it go, already.”
I’ve tried to let it go, believe me. But one thing sticks with me: The Big Lie told by the beady-eyed HR wonk who gave me my walking papers. “Don’t forget. You’re eligible for rehire.” That’s akin to the Orange Troll Tweeting, “I’ve lied. About everything. The Russians definitely aided me in my quest to become President of the United States. Hillary Clinton belongs in the White House. Not I. Not Melania, who hates my ass. And not Barron, who will probably grow up to hate me. Effective immediately, I am removing myself from office.”
Right. As those happy-as-hell Danes say,” When there are two Wednesdays in a week.” And that’s exactly how I’ve (finally) come to feel about my “eligibility for rehire,” as I did in fact, apply to a gig that I’d be perfect for and is, in fact, one title down from my former position. After contacting the individual heading up the group I applied for, I was told, “Yes, I’m aware you are looking, but I want to see what else comes by way.”
Well, thanks a lot buddy! One thing I hope you DON’T see is the bug that flies up your behind and ultimately takes residence in your large intestine!
Harsh, but I had to get it off my chest. And now, I’m done. Time to move on. And I can. But how does this country move on? From the lies, the deceit, the vitriol that spreads across this nation like a noxious cloud? Unfortunately, the only answer I have is one that could get me locked up, so I’ll cease and desist.
I’ll finish with a blurb from National Geographic’s, “Why We Lie: The Science Behind Our Deceptive Ways.” And that is, “Honesty may be the best policy, but scheming and dishonesty are part of what makes us human.”
So THAT'S it.
Photo by Gage Skidmore || CC-BY-SA-2.0