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A Bump Of Trump

A Bump Of Trump

A new drug on the street is crippling the United States. It’s found on Main Street, Wall Street, and all streets.  This is not meth, it’s not heroin, and it’s not OxyContin.

This new drug is called—Donald Trump.  
    
And, it’s made available on news outlets, Twitter accounts, and word of mouth.
    
The side effects of Donald Trump range from uncontrollable, psychotic emotion, gastrointestinal pain, and worst of all—nationalism. It’s affected all ages of people from children to grandparents.
    
Steven Shapiro, a Democrat from Oregon, said, “I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I started taking Donald Trump two years ago, and now it’s ruined my life.”
    
His wife Sharon Shapiro added, “He doesn’t even greet me with ‘Hello’ or ‘Good Morning.’ He stares at me with red eyes and mumbles, ‘Donald Trump.’”
    
Conservatives are having the opposite effect on this new drug.
    
Bruce Kenner, of Texas, states, “I wake up feeling more energized every day. Donald Trump is like a combination of Adderall and Celexa.”
    
Donald Trump has all of the side effects of the worst drugs available, and unfortunately, there are no support groups for this new addiction. Some families are going as far as doing intervention.

 


    
Seth Hobbs, son of conservative parents, tried intervention. “I sat my family in a circle, and we took turns speaking. I told my parents, 'I know that Donald Trump felt good at first, but he is bad for you.’ Then, I held up a photograph of Latinos, and told my parents, ‘These are people from Mexico. They are not here to hurt you. And, while we’re all sitting down, North Korea still has nukes.’”
    
Even though numerous Donald Trump interventions have taken place in this country, nothing seems work.
    
Preston Grubbs, head of the DEA, offers this advice to people who are hooked on this dangerous narcotic: “Don’t think about Donald Trump. Don’t you dare think about Donald Trump. Stop thinking about Donald Trump.”
    
For those looking for help and treatment, doctors claim that we are still two to six years away from a cure.

 

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America  ||  CC-BY-SA-2.0

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