Trump's Summer Reading List
As written (or dictated) by President Donald Trump:
Recently, the Kenyan who occupied the Oval Office before me released his recommended summer reading list. It was a very bad list. I thought Americans would want to hear from their real President about what they should be reading this summer (if you read at all, which really you don't have to because reading's not very important). Below are some books that are very important to me that I recommend you read. It's a very good list.
Hitler gets a bad rap but there's a lot of good stuff in there. You truly can't determine the character of a man merely from how he treats minorities. That would be very unfair. Maybe that's how sad Jake Tapper and weak Obama judge people but it's wrong, just very, very wrong. Who cares about the minority as long as the electoral majority agrees with you? Hitler was a very strong leader who in fact did have some very good ideas. If he were alive today I believe our countries would get a long great. Mein Kampf means "my fight" but it's not just his fight, that's wrong, it's my fight too!
Being honest, which I always am, I'm an incredibly honest person, ask anyone, ask Jared, ask Ivanka, ask little Don Jr., ask anyone, I'm a very honest person. So being honest here, I have not read a whole lot of this Bible but I do know that people read it and then they vote for me. It's amazing. My Attorney General Jeff Sessions told me that there's some great stuff in there about deportation and separating families and I just love that. Love it. So, big fan, big fan of the Bible over here, definitely read it if you get a chance.
The Art of the Deal
Now this is a book right here! You've seen how great I am at deal making. If you want some insight into how I work the magic that I work then read this. I 100%, absolutely wrote all of it.
B-O-R-I-N-G! Just kidding. Haven't read it very closely but I hear it's great. I love that it gives me all the power to do whatever I want, whenever I want. The best part of it though is the part where it says presidents can't get in legal trouble for obstruction of justice or collusion. That's a great part. A very important part. Let's not forget that part. Only problem in the whole thing is really the 14th Amendment which seems somewhat hastily thrown together.
Everyone should read the Quran so we can learn to be tolerant of people who don't share our---Joking again! Got you! Obviously don't read this.