London Makes Donald Sad
Air Force One reached a certain point over the Atlantic Ocean when the sadness finally caught up to him. He had never seen so many white people who just didn't like him in one place at one time and they brought a balloon – of him. He actually had to fly over a cornfield where somebody made a crop circle that said very rude things to him in Russian. The Queen of England, who most certainly would not allow him in the royal horse-drawn hooptie, stuck around long enough for a photo opportunity, one cup of tea and left as quickly as possible.
Everything had gone wrong. Donald likely thought that because Rupert Murdoch owned both Fox News and The Sun, all he would have to do is say what was on his mind and they would make him sound good. Even with Theresa May beaming at him as if she would take one for the Queen (who already doesn't like him) and country, (who hate him several orders of magnitude more than they hate her), half of her Conservative party upped and decided – they don't like him either. And they brought a balloon. They flew the balloon everywhere.
Rudy, God love him, Rudy was still faithful. Rudy was putting the good word out there. No collusion. That was a comforting thought. Melania was out of the hospital. That was good. People saw them together. The dress really looked good on her. Yellow. Golden yellow. Flowing golden yellow. Good choice. It looked good on her.
Maybe it would look good on Ivanka too. Might help her increase her sales since the store in Canada dropped her line. Donald pondered, maybe a call came down from Justin? Maybe a trade war with Canada is what the country needed. But first the dress, he had to see how that looked on her.
Paul Manafort was still in prison and Michael Cohen changed his Twitter page. It didn't matter. He'd call Sean Hannity and everything would be okay. Except that balloon, that goddamn balloon!
Shout-out and mad props to Ryan Adams @filmystic for inspiring the "Flowing golden yellow" gag.