Mike Pompeo, President Donald Trump’s secretary of state, has formally uninvited Kim Jong Un to all upcoming White House events after North Korean officials failed to show up to a meeting with U.S. officials on Thursday. All of North Korea refused to answer the phone when they were called.
Included on the list of upcoming events is the White House tea party, the Coulter Knitting Club, and the Oval Office slumber party. The slumber party, which maintains one of the most exclusive guest lists, is a massive snub. Pompeo’s official statement can be found below:
“I would like to say, on the record, that we don’t understand what happened. Did we do something wrong? Was it something we said? I wish someone would call us. Or even just a text. We see you tweeting. The last text we sent was read a couple hours ago. We’re so sorry. Just please talk to us again, baby. We miss the way you smell. I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I’m emotional right now.”
Pompeo left the podium looking teary-eyed and sniffling. He checked his phone several times before turning around and reapproaching the podium to make a second brief statement: “You know what? We don’t need North Korea. Russia is just as attractive to us. So North Korea, we’re officially over you. Please don’t text us ever again.” He then checked his phone several more times before turning it off and leaving.
At the moment, nobody from North Korea could be reached for comment. South Korea would only express disappointment over the separation, saying that North Korea has not been home for a couple days.