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Trump Declares Trade War With Wakanda

Trump Declares Trade War With Wakanda

President Donald Trump escalated his ongoing feud with King T'Challa on Saturday, declaring that "a trade war with Wakanda is necessary in order to protect the very American workers who supported me in my landslide, massive, huge electoral crushing of Crooked Hillary." King T’Challa responded in a statement explaining, “This is exactly why we avoided white people for so long.” The King also pointed out that Wakanda has almost zero American imports, other than bootleg DVD’s featuring DC superheroes. The promise of a trade war is preceded by what is believed to be President Trump's confusion over a scene in Avengers (the fictional movie) where the King of Wakanda is attacking the, again, fictional character Captain America. Trump stated that “I will not allow any attack on one of our country's greatest heroes to go unanswered.” When asked if the President knew that Avengers was just a movie and Captain America just a character, the press secretary refused to comment. 

This adds to what has been weeks of US tension with China, Canada, England, Germany as well as just about every other US ally over trade policies. The president has seemed emboldened in recent weeks as his approval rating has crawled from the low thirties to the high thirties and he's utilizing this increased popularity to alienate other nations by imposing tariffs on foreign goods.

 

 

In what has become standard Trumpian fashion he made the attacks on T’Challa personal, “What we have here is a grown man, a grown man who goes around dressed up as a cat. What’s up with that? It’s not halloween. If it was halloween I would dress up as a cat too but my cat would be much bigger and much better.” Wakanda’s most valuable resource is vibranium, the metal with incredible properties that is only found in Wakanda. The issue of vibranium was not lost on the president, “Vibranium, can’t spell it. Don’t want it. And if I did want it then I’d get it from American vibranium companies who employ the best vibranium miners in the world.” 

The President was not done there though, he took aim at a few of his favorite foes as he wrapped the campaign style rally up. CNN and Representative Nancy Pelosi were the victims of Trump attacks this time as he pulled them into his anti-Wakanda rant. “I’ll tell you what, this whole Black Panther thing, it’s reverse racism, that’s what it is. If I called myself the White Panther, CNN would have a network-wide breakdown, not many people would see it though because their rating are just awful.” From there he pivoted to minority leader Pelosi, saying that “she only defends T’Challa because she cares about little Africans more than she cares about Americans.” To this Pelosi responded, “With a president like him, who in their right mind would really actually care about Americans?” With tensions escalating globally, the eyes of the world are on the president’s twitter feed to see what will come next. 

 

 

Photos by Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America  ||  CC-BY-SA-2.0

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