UNBIASED POLITICAL SATIRE & HUMOR FOR SNOWFLAKES LIKE YOU.

We Only Report What We Want to Hear. You Decide.

 

Trump: ‘NATO Knows What He Did,’ Not On Speaking Terms

Trump: ‘NATO Knows What He Did,’ Not On Speaking Terms

Brussels, Belgium -- United States President Donald Trump accused NATO of “not paying enough (attention to me)” as leaders of the allies met at the North Atlantic Council in Europe.

“Listen, NATO knows what he did. I’m not going to take it anymore. The late nights, lack of communication, being a real prick all the time, I’m worried sick over here. I shouldn’t have to do everything all by myself. I need help over here. I feel like I’m the only one who even cares at this point,” Trump grumbled.

“I give, I give, I give. Everything, all of me. And NATO just takes advantage. Gives nothing back. It’s sickening really. Often I am physically ill on the golden floor of my bathroom thinking about this. It has to stop. I will not be an enabler.”

It was obvious at the summit that Trump is no longer on speaking terms with NATO. “We’re, like, not really talking anymore. I’m interested in a lot of new things these days, and NATO hasn’t really kept up. I talk to Vladdy a lot and I’ve hanging with Kimmy lately. It’s nothing major, but we’ll see what comes of it. Whatever happens, happens. You know?” the president confided in us.

NATO was unavailable for comment and this has us worried. Is a breakup inevitable?

 

 
Trump’s ‘Stiff Employees to Get Rich’ Ploy

Trump’s ‘Stiff Employees to Get Rich’ Ploy

Space Jam 2 Starring Elon Musk And LeBron James

Space Jam 2 Starring Elon Musk And LeBron James