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Facebook Announces Legacy.com Merger

Facebook Announces Legacy.com Merger

Mark Zuckerberg has announced that the largest social network and largest provider of e-obituaries, Facebook.com and Legacy.com, respectively, will become one. 

Zuckerberg cited his userbase’s growing need for more advanced tools to bid farewell to their loved one(s). 

“Our timelines are full of RIP Marthas and Bens and Brians and Bellas. Memorial messages aren’t matching the compelling nature of the subject matter. I couldn’t have tear-inducing text-based updates destroying my timelines any longer. We needed to make a move.” 

In Legacy.com, Facebook gains access to a guaranteed userbase and technology to empower their 2 billion users to create their own e-Funeral Parlor the next time they lose a loved one to old age or heroin.

 

 

Facebook users will be able to fully plan and execute a funeral by Halloween. 

Users are expected to really take to features like “build your own mausoleum” and “auto-Photoshop you and your loved one into that Fast and Furious Paul Walker YouTube video.” 

Facebook stock has surged 7% as Wall Street seems to think the platform can aggressively monetize the 100 billion Legacy.com profiles through target ads and rumored “exhume a celebrity” auctions.

 

 

Photo by Robert Scoble  ||  CC-BY-2.0

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