President Trump Not Backing Down From Proposed Thumb War With Chinese Leader Xi
Washington, DC -- United States leader Donald Trump refuses to back down from his proposed thumb war, as escalating tensions with Chinese President Xi Jinping appear to be reaching a boiling point.
“One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war,” President Trump reportedly told the Chinese strongman during a heated phone conversation from the Oval Office. “Five, six, seven, eight, try to keep your thumb straight,” Xi responded through his interpreter.
Trump has long been rumored to move his elbow around to give him an improper advantage during a thumb war, and the occasional “sneak attack” using his other hand is never out of the question.
“Look, we are going to do what we need to do in order to win this thing. All my Trumpsters, we know that China has long been ripping us off with unfair thumb tactics. They play dumb and then they’ll just come up and get you all of a sudden. No play fair Beijing,” the president told reporters this morning.
Back in Beijing, Xi was seen practicing with visiting North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, apparently with their match ending in a clean draw.