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Mike Pence: An American Theocrat

Mike Pence: An American Theocrat

Mike Pence, the current vice president of the United States of America. Now Donald Trump is bad, but I'm honestly more concerned about Mike Pence. Trump is an idiot, but Pence is a theocrat. Trump's presidency will certainly be a roller coaster. Like a really sketchy roller coaster in an undeveloped country where asbestos is still legal, and probably used to cushion the seats. Good news: those seats are virtually fireproof. Bad news: they will probably give you cancer, like really bad cancer. And sometimes I think we may have been a bit hasty getting rid of asbestos, I mean it really is a great material. Look, I know it causes the really bad cancer, but just after 30 years of sleeping like a baby in a fireproof, soundproof, cost-effectively insulated home.

So what does asbestos have to do with theocracy? Very little, I'm just pretty sure I'm the only person in the world who actually loves asbestos. But I also think it disproves God. If there was a God, he would of let us have that one. Creating cancer is one thing, but making an amazing material like asbestos cause it, that's just not cool. Now I know Christians will scream "original sin." And forget the flaws of the concept. I just think the weed in the Garden of Eden wasn't dank enough. Trump's presidency will be a roller coaster. You are guaranteed to come off a bit nauseous and some of us might not make it off at all. An idiot without a plan can only do so much, but a theocrat with one, that’s a major threat.

 


The one that can’t be fired is the one I’d like most to get fired. The theocratic VP, who thinks he’s a prophet. Seriously as if being a theocrat isn’t sketchy enough, this dude thinks he talks to Jesus. He said it first, not me. Like Russell M. Nelson, who I would also not like to see in the president’s cabinet. His political aspirations can stop at being the LDS president. And if Pence was just the leader of a weird Christian cult, then I would be less concerned, but still a bit (as an anti-theist I think believing in God is a delusion and that is concerning). But this delusional theocrat is the second in command of a secular country, and that’s just downright scary. Historically speaking, it's all fun and games until a theocrat gets power, then it's no longer fun or even a game. 


The United States basically started secularism. It was founded on secular ideals and the constitution basically defines the word. The Christian right's insistence to the contrary doesn’t change that. They continuously scream about the threat of Islam and Sharia law. I can't help but think that's the pot calling the kettle black right there. Arrogant and ignorant. As if believing not only that there is a God, but that he loves you personally and cares deeply what you do when you're naked in your bedroom doesn't make you sound arrogant enough, you dis on a religion that condones all the same atrocities (albeit in a much more streamlined fashion).

 

 

And don't get me wrong, as an anti-theist, I see the concern with Sharia law. Islam is currently much more of a threat than Christianity. However, currently is the key word there. But Christianity at its core is no better. Allow a Christian theocrat to attain power and look forward to creationism being taught in science class, blasphemy laws, death penalty to homosexuals (and probably trans-admirers too, which means yes, this is personal), and depending on the situation, forced or restricted abortions. In the next century, the US would be just as unstable, war torn, and uneducated as the Middle East. I know the checks and balances in our current government make it hard to simply transform into a theocracy overnight. But overnight or in a century, a theocracy is a theocracy.


Let’s not impeach Trump. Pence is a better speaker than Trump,but also a much better Christian. Remember we're talking about a guy who said “I was Tea Party before it was cool.” When was it cool? In which universe? In case I ever find myself travelling the multi-verse, I can be sure to stay away from that one.

I'm surely not happy an idiot is president. But every day I thank a God that I don’t believe in that he is just an idiot without a plan and not a theocrat with one. So to conclude, I recommend this YouTube video and Doritos cool ranch, they're both super-good and don't let the MSG concern you. Science says it's perfectly safe and the bible hardly mentions it, surprise, surprise.

 

 
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