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Trump's Time Cops: 'Because Bad Hombres Are Everywhen!'

Trump's Time Cops: 'Because Bad Hombres Are Everywhen!'

Earth 616 Continuity -- Fast on the heels of his new Space Force, President Donald Trump announced today the administration has been assembling an elite corps of Time Cops. "We have lots of very bad hombres sneaking across our borders and we're running out of cages," the president said. "We're gonna take 'em out before they're even born!"

Democrats are divided over this issue. "We can't go fooling around with the timeline," argued Senator Kamala Harris. "One wrong move could have exponential cons --" and then she disappeared, having been erased from history.

 

 

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer struck a more conciliatory note. "This has great potential for the American people, especially if we can undo the time-traveling Russian meddling that set up the electoral college."

Business leaders greeted the news with excitement. Entrepreneur, Trump supporter, and evil machine overmind Peter Thiel was particularly pleased. "01100110 01110100 01110111!" he said to a room of captured humans before converting them into biomass fuel for his merciless robot army.

Sarah Connor could not be reached for comment as she fires on anyone approaching her compound.

 

 
Outrage As Trump Separates Newly-Elected Liberal Mexican President From Constituency

Outrage As Trump Separates Newly-Elected Liberal Mexican President From Constituency

World’s Comedians Offer to Teach Republicans What a ‘Joke’ Is

World’s Comedians Offer to Teach Republicans What a ‘Joke’ Is