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Mexican Snowman Ambivalent About Movement To Abolish Ice

Mexican Snowman Ambivalent About Movement To Abolish Ice

El Paso, TX -- Mexican snowman Escarchado Núñez expressed mixed feelings about the growing liberal sentiment to dismantle the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency responsible for the recent crackdown on illegal immigrants crossing the border, as part of a wide-ranging interview he granted journalists from his current unknown location in El Paso.

“Yes we’re in a meat freezer, but can you just leave out the part about where exactly we are?” Núñez told us through his button mouth. “I dripped across the border during the heat wave and nobody needs to know where I ended up, okay?

“Abolish ice, well, I’m kind of made of ice. And don’t ask me how that came to be down in my native Mexico. The less questions here the better. They’re on to me.” He then put his tree branch hand over his also-button eyes, as he began to cry or possibly was melting. “This is all just too much. Jumping from freezer to freezer. Just wanting a better life for me and my three little snowballs.”

“And our lifespan is only about two days. Would you want to be looking over your shoulder all of your life? I don’t even have shoulders,” Núñez confided.

We returned for a follow-up interview the next day, but there was no trace, except for a huge puddle.

 

 
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